NAMASTE The title of next week's episode, the way Dr. Marvin Candle concludes all of his orientation films -- and a sneaky anagram
By Jeff Jensen
No Lost tonight means no teases today. And a nation grieves. Why is there no Lost tonight? Maybe to allow the Powers That Be ample time to make sure the back half of their season really rocks. But more likely, it's because ABC wants to make sure it gets as many episodes of Lost into the May sweeps period as possible. (My understanding is that there could be one more break like this, falling right after episode 12.) My suggestions for alternative activities?
1. Read Watchmen, by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.
2. See Watchmen, directed by Zack Snyder.
3. Watch Dexter on DVD.
4. Listen to the new U2 album No Line On The Horizon.
5. Catch up on back episodes of Totally Lost. (New episodes resume next week!)
6. Create some art of your own.
7. Spend time with your significant other and/or family...but only if you really have nothing else to do.
8. Do good deeds for your fellow man. Or pray, but again, only after you've exhausted the aforementioned, more important possibilities.
NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE IS CALLED "NAMASTE''
That's the salutation that Dr. Marvin Candle uses to conclude all of his orientation films. It's Sanskrit for ''I bow to the divine in you,'' although there are multiple meanings. Here's a video I found that meditates on the robust spiritual philosophy embodied by ''Namaste.'' Warning: The following exceeds the suggested daily dosage of spiritual enlightenment.
Of course, as I love to point out, ''Namaste'' is also an anagram for ''Me Satan.'' Spooky! And whenever I point that bit of business out, I always like to also point out that the logo for Station 3: The Swan doesn't really look so much like a swan to me but rather...a snake! I'm telling you, there's something sinister lurking in the Dharma subtext....
BURNING QUESTION OF THE WEEK!
''What happened to Rose, Bernard, and the rest of the survivors at beach? Did they all get hit with flaming arrows?'' — BS LeBlanc, Dallas, TX
For some reason, I got a ton of Bernard/Rose questions this week. I guess something about ''LaFleur'' begged the question. I definitely have a good idea where Bernard might be: His actor, Sam Anderson, is currently starring in the play The Bird and Mr. Banks at The Road Theatre Company in Los Angeles through May 2. But since it appears there are only weekend performances, I personally see no reason why Mr. Anderson can't overextend himself and commute to Hawaii during the workweek and shoot episodes of Lost, even at the risk of exhaustion and compromising his stage work, no matter how cool or noble. Because seriously, what can be more important than Lost?
By the way, here's my Bernard and Rose theory. They were flashing through time along with the Sawyer group of castaways, albeit in a different part of the Island. When the time travel ordeal stopped after Locke turned the frozen donkey wheel, Bernard and Rose landed in the 1970s — and were captured by Richard Alpert's ''Others.'' Or they died from the time travel sickness, and they became...the Adam and Eve skeletons. (I've never been made sadder by the prospect of an accurate theory. RIP Bernard and Rose — theoretically speaking.)
WHO ORDERED THE PURGE?
Before we dig deeper into the Reader Mailbag and consider your theories to last week's theory-making challenge, let's talk for a moment about the Purge, which came up frequently in your submissions.
In Ben's Season 3 backstory episode, ''The Man Behind The Curtain,'' we learned that the Purge was the deadly, gassy culmination of the Others' war on Dharma. Big loser: Dharma. All of them died, except for Ben. But if you recall from the Season 4 episode ''Cabin Fever,'' you also know that Ben was not in control of the Others at the time of the Purge. He was still an angry young man, working as a Dharma janitor with his sad, mean father, though clearly yearning for a life/career change. And nothing facilitates self-improvement like helping facilitate mass murder.
Bottom line: Ben was following an order, not issuing them. So who gave the order? Many theories are in circulation. There's Jacob, of course. Richard Alpert is also a prime candidate. But in the wake of ''The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham,'' surely we must put Charles Widmore at the top of our list of suspects. Yet last week, I had an epiphany while re-watching the ''Cabin Fever'' scene where Ben talks about the Purge. Watch — and most important, listen:
Did you hear how Ben responded to Hurley's question? He said, ''Their leader's.'' At least, that's what I thought I heard at the time the episode aired. But rewatching the clips last week, I heard something very different. What if that apostrophe is actually in the wrong place? In other words, I am proposing that the line was actually this:
''Their leaders'.''
What if the Others had multiple leaders at the time of the Purge? Given the presence of the castaways in the Island past, could we be headed toward some big, dark twist that the leaders of the Others during the time of The Purge were... the castaways themselves?!?
DOC JENSEN'S THEORY-MAKING CHALLENGE!
Last week, in my recap of ''LaFleur,'' I wrote the following:
''[Juliet's] terror over possibly facilitating more Island-baby death broke my heart — and made my mind spin. Interesting how her thought process on that has evolved to a place where she blames herself for those infants, like she has some kind of Island curse. But Sawyer brought up a provocative idea: Maybe the Island's anti-baby policy was inspired by an event that has not occurred yet.... My challenge to you: Give me a theory that makes Sawyer's logic work. JeffJensenEW@aol.com is how to reach me directly...if you dare.''
Well, many of you dared. HUNDREDS of you dared, in fact. I got so many theories, it crashed my mailbox. I must say, I wasn't expecting that kind of response, and before I say one thing more: Thank you for reading, and thank you for participating. I tried my best to read every e-mail before writing this week's column, and I'll continue reading them over the next few weeks. Here's a small sampling of your thinking:
''I think that it all has to do with Jin, who was able to get Sun pregnant on the Island; who crossed paths with pregnant Rousseau; who was present at Aaron's birth; who was on the island when Amy gave birth.'' —TC Peters, Davenport, IA
In other words: Jin is the fertility god of the Island! No Jin, no babies! Jin = Isis. JIN IS THE FOUR-TOED STATUE!
''My theory is that perhaps the frozen donkey wheel had not been turned yet. Maybe the fertility issues were caused by the first time the Island became dislodged in time. It is really simplistic, but it might work.'' —Lauren, South Pasadena, CA
Lauren's theory is a popular one. To be clear, I don't think there's anything simplistic about fertility problems caused by a glitch in the time-space continuum — but I can roll with this.
''Only a certain number of souls can obtain permanent residency on the Island. And being born there earns you that right. That child — along with Alex — were the last souls allowed. The allotted amount was full until baby Aaron was born. Hey, is Amy's baby the future boyfriend of Alex?'' —Greg Reed, Madison, WI
An interesting possibility. Could this mean that the Island allowed Aaron to be born in order to compensate for the losses of Ethan and Goodwin, two longtime Island residents who perished just prior to Aaron's birth? As for the theory that Amy's baby is Karl: This also has been a popular conjecture, but the timing doesn't work for me. Baby Goodspeed was born in 1977. That means that Karl would have been 27 when he died. Could that kid really have been that old? I'm dubious.
By far, the most popular theory that I received — articulated in hundreds of different ways in hundreds of different e-mails — goes something like this:
''The anti-baby policy started after the Purge. The Island said ''No way are you going to be able to procreate when you killed my children.'' The Others were basically punished for their actions.'' —Cheri, Columbia, MO
Another popular twist on the same theory: that the toxic gasses used by the Others/Hostiles to wipe out Dharma messed up their reproductive plumbing. Now, I'm no expert in toxic gasses, but I'm not totally convinced late-term pregnancy mother/infant death is among the long-term side effects. Nonetheless, I do like the idea that the Island has punished its chosen people — the Others — for their lack of faithfulness. Given how much Lost has cribbed from The Bible, this kind of cursing reminds me of, say, Adam and Eve getting cursed and tossed out of Eden by God for eating the apple, or the Israelites being forced to wander the desert for 40 years because they were too scared to invade Canaan, or Moses being denied entry into the Promised Land for not properly following God's instruction. You get the sense that the Island demands penance for disobedience. Remember how Locke was denied use of his voice as punishment for losing his faith in the Hatch. Perhaps that's one more reason why the Island required his death before it allowed him back: It was his punishment for letting Ben turn the frozen donkey wheel instead of doing what he was told to do, which was turn the darn thing himself.
P.S.: All this God talk reminds me of what actor Terry O'Quinn recently told the Los Angeles Times. Most of the Island-is-God theories that I've ever come across — and that I've concocted myself — have made the assumption that the Island is a benevolent entity. A prickly and demanding entity, but ultimately benevolent. Yet O'Quinn is unconvinced:
''What [Locke] perceives, his understanding of the island, is special. But it might be the road to hell. We still don't know what the moral entity of the island is. Is the island a good guy or a bad guy? That is the question I have.''
Casting the Island as possibly a devilish personality — or perhaps more terrifying, as an unreliable God, or perhaps a God who just doesn't like us very much — opens up new theory-making possibilities, and would certainly radically alter the science/faith theme running through the series. The side of spirituality has been winning in recent weeks — but who's to say the supernatural forces at work in Lost are working on behalf of humanity's best interests? More on this — and more of our Why-the-Island-Hates-Babies theories — next week.
AND THE WINNER OF DOC JENSEN'S WEEKLY NO PRIZE IS...
Last week, I gave you my ''reasonable facsimile'' theory of Locke's resurrection — that Locke wasn't really Locke, but an Island creation imprinted with Locke's consciousness. I confessed to having ripped that idea off from a famous comic book character's origin story and challenged you to smoke out my reference. And while I got a number of great guesses (Vision/Wonder Man, Phoenix, The Multiple Man), it was Sander Klein who got the one I was thinking of: ''I believe that you are referring to Alan Moore's re-invention of The Swamp Thing.''
That's all I have for you this week. Back next week with more Doc Jensen, more Totally Lost (big tease for next week's episode: ''Munchies!'') and most important, more Lost. Until then: Me Satan — er, I mean, Namaste! http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,1550612_20245769_20264756,00.html?xid=email-alert-lost-20090311-item1
By Jeff Jensen
No Lost tonight means no teases today. And a nation grieves. Why is there no Lost tonight? Maybe to allow the Powers That Be ample time to make sure the back half of their season really rocks. But more likely, it's because ABC wants to make sure it gets as many episodes of Lost into the May sweeps period as possible. (My understanding is that there could be one more break like this, falling right after episode 12.) My suggestions for alternative activities?
1. Read Watchmen, by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.
2. See Watchmen, directed by Zack Snyder.
3. Watch Dexter on DVD.
4. Listen to the new U2 album No Line On The Horizon.
5. Catch up on back episodes of Totally Lost. (New episodes resume next week!)
6. Create some art of your own.
7. Spend time with your significant other and/or family...but only if you really have nothing else to do.
8. Do good deeds for your fellow man. Or pray, but again, only after you've exhausted the aforementioned, more important possibilities.
NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE IS CALLED "NAMASTE''
That's the salutation that Dr. Marvin Candle uses to conclude all of his orientation films. It's Sanskrit for ''I bow to the divine in you,'' although there are multiple meanings. Here's a video I found that meditates on the robust spiritual philosophy embodied by ''Namaste.'' Warning: The following exceeds the suggested daily dosage of spiritual enlightenment.
Of course, as I love to point out, ''Namaste'' is also an anagram for ''Me Satan.'' Spooky! And whenever I point that bit of business out, I always like to also point out that the logo for Station 3: The Swan doesn't really look so much like a swan to me but rather...a snake! I'm telling you, there's something sinister lurking in the Dharma subtext....
BURNING QUESTION OF THE WEEK!
''What happened to Rose, Bernard, and the rest of the survivors at beach? Did they all get hit with flaming arrows?'' — BS LeBlanc, Dallas, TX
For some reason, I got a ton of Bernard/Rose questions this week. I guess something about ''LaFleur'' begged the question. I definitely have a good idea where Bernard might be: His actor, Sam Anderson, is currently starring in the play The Bird and Mr. Banks at The Road Theatre Company in Los Angeles through May 2. But since it appears there are only weekend performances, I personally see no reason why Mr. Anderson can't overextend himself and commute to Hawaii during the workweek and shoot episodes of Lost, even at the risk of exhaustion and compromising his stage work, no matter how cool or noble. Because seriously, what can be more important than Lost?
By the way, here's my Bernard and Rose theory. They were flashing through time along with the Sawyer group of castaways, albeit in a different part of the Island. When the time travel ordeal stopped after Locke turned the frozen donkey wheel, Bernard and Rose landed in the 1970s — and were captured by Richard Alpert's ''Others.'' Or they died from the time travel sickness, and they became...the Adam and Eve skeletons. (I've never been made sadder by the prospect of an accurate theory. RIP Bernard and Rose — theoretically speaking.)
WHO ORDERED THE PURGE?
Before we dig deeper into the Reader Mailbag and consider your theories to last week's theory-making challenge, let's talk for a moment about the Purge, which came up frequently in your submissions.
In Ben's Season 3 backstory episode, ''The Man Behind The Curtain,'' we learned that the Purge was the deadly, gassy culmination of the Others' war on Dharma. Big loser: Dharma. All of them died, except for Ben. But if you recall from the Season 4 episode ''Cabin Fever,'' you also know that Ben was not in control of the Others at the time of the Purge. He was still an angry young man, working as a Dharma janitor with his sad, mean father, though clearly yearning for a life/career change. And nothing facilitates self-improvement like helping facilitate mass murder.
Bottom line: Ben was following an order, not issuing them. So who gave the order? Many theories are in circulation. There's Jacob, of course. Richard Alpert is also a prime candidate. But in the wake of ''The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham,'' surely we must put Charles Widmore at the top of our list of suspects. Yet last week, I had an epiphany while re-watching the ''Cabin Fever'' scene where Ben talks about the Purge. Watch — and most important, listen:
Did you hear how Ben responded to Hurley's question? He said, ''Their leader's.'' At least, that's what I thought I heard at the time the episode aired. But rewatching the clips last week, I heard something very different. What if that apostrophe is actually in the wrong place? In other words, I am proposing that the line was actually this:
''Their leaders'.''
What if the Others had multiple leaders at the time of the Purge? Given the presence of the castaways in the Island past, could we be headed toward some big, dark twist that the leaders of the Others during the time of The Purge were... the castaways themselves?!?
DOC JENSEN'S THEORY-MAKING CHALLENGE!
Last week, in my recap of ''LaFleur,'' I wrote the following:
''[Juliet's] terror over possibly facilitating more Island-baby death broke my heart — and made my mind spin. Interesting how her thought process on that has evolved to a place where she blames herself for those infants, like she has some kind of Island curse. But Sawyer brought up a provocative idea: Maybe the Island's anti-baby policy was inspired by an event that has not occurred yet.... My challenge to you: Give me a theory that makes Sawyer's logic work. JeffJensenEW@aol.com is how to reach me directly...if you dare.''
Well, many of you dared. HUNDREDS of you dared, in fact. I got so many theories, it crashed my mailbox. I must say, I wasn't expecting that kind of response, and before I say one thing more: Thank you for reading, and thank you for participating. I tried my best to read every e-mail before writing this week's column, and I'll continue reading them over the next few weeks. Here's a small sampling of your thinking:
''I think that it all has to do with Jin, who was able to get Sun pregnant on the Island; who crossed paths with pregnant Rousseau; who was present at Aaron's birth; who was on the island when Amy gave birth.'' —TC Peters, Davenport, IA
In other words: Jin is the fertility god of the Island! No Jin, no babies! Jin = Isis. JIN IS THE FOUR-TOED STATUE!
''My theory is that perhaps the frozen donkey wheel had not been turned yet. Maybe the fertility issues were caused by the first time the Island became dislodged in time. It is really simplistic, but it might work.'' —Lauren, South Pasadena, CA
Lauren's theory is a popular one. To be clear, I don't think there's anything simplistic about fertility problems caused by a glitch in the time-space continuum — but I can roll with this.
''Only a certain number of souls can obtain permanent residency on the Island. And being born there earns you that right. That child — along with Alex — were the last souls allowed. The allotted amount was full until baby Aaron was born. Hey, is Amy's baby the future boyfriend of Alex?'' —Greg Reed, Madison, WI
An interesting possibility. Could this mean that the Island allowed Aaron to be born in order to compensate for the losses of Ethan and Goodwin, two longtime Island residents who perished just prior to Aaron's birth? As for the theory that Amy's baby is Karl: This also has been a popular conjecture, but the timing doesn't work for me. Baby Goodspeed was born in 1977. That means that Karl would have been 27 when he died. Could that kid really have been that old? I'm dubious.
By far, the most popular theory that I received — articulated in hundreds of different ways in hundreds of different e-mails — goes something like this:
''The anti-baby policy started after the Purge. The Island said ''No way are you going to be able to procreate when you killed my children.'' The Others were basically punished for their actions.'' —Cheri, Columbia, MO
Another popular twist on the same theory: that the toxic gasses used by the Others/Hostiles to wipe out Dharma messed up their reproductive plumbing. Now, I'm no expert in toxic gasses, but I'm not totally convinced late-term pregnancy mother/infant death is among the long-term side effects. Nonetheless, I do like the idea that the Island has punished its chosen people — the Others — for their lack of faithfulness. Given how much Lost has cribbed from The Bible, this kind of cursing reminds me of, say, Adam and Eve getting cursed and tossed out of Eden by God for eating the apple, or the Israelites being forced to wander the desert for 40 years because they were too scared to invade Canaan, or Moses being denied entry into the Promised Land for not properly following God's instruction. You get the sense that the Island demands penance for disobedience. Remember how Locke was denied use of his voice as punishment for losing his faith in the Hatch. Perhaps that's one more reason why the Island required his death before it allowed him back: It was his punishment for letting Ben turn the frozen donkey wheel instead of doing what he was told to do, which was turn the darn thing himself.
P.S.: All this God talk reminds me of what actor Terry O'Quinn recently told the Los Angeles Times. Most of the Island-is-God theories that I've ever come across — and that I've concocted myself — have made the assumption that the Island is a benevolent entity. A prickly and demanding entity, but ultimately benevolent. Yet O'Quinn is unconvinced:
''What [Locke] perceives, his understanding of the island, is special. But it might be the road to hell. We still don't know what the moral entity of the island is. Is the island a good guy or a bad guy? That is the question I have.''
Casting the Island as possibly a devilish personality — or perhaps more terrifying, as an unreliable God, or perhaps a God who just doesn't like us very much — opens up new theory-making possibilities, and would certainly radically alter the science/faith theme running through the series. The side of spirituality has been winning in recent weeks — but who's to say the supernatural forces at work in Lost are working on behalf of humanity's best interests? More on this — and more of our Why-the-Island-Hates-Babies theories — next week.
AND THE WINNER OF DOC JENSEN'S WEEKLY NO PRIZE IS...
Last week, I gave you my ''reasonable facsimile'' theory of Locke's resurrection — that Locke wasn't really Locke, but an Island creation imprinted with Locke's consciousness. I confessed to having ripped that idea off from a famous comic book character's origin story and challenged you to smoke out my reference. And while I got a number of great guesses (Vision/Wonder Man, Phoenix, The Multiple Man), it was Sander Klein who got the one I was thinking of: ''I believe that you are referring to Alan Moore's re-invention of The Swamp Thing.''
That's all I have for you this week. Back next week with more Doc Jensen, more Totally Lost (big tease for next week's episode: ''Munchies!'') and most important, more Lost. Until then: Me Satan — er, I mean, Namaste! http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,1550612_20245769_20264756,00.html?xid=email-alert-lost-20090311-item1
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