LOST-Work for 6.10. MIB Style

Doc Jensen: 'Lost' recap: The Complete 'Package'

Sun and Jin get lost in translation thanks to all the Island double-speak
By Jeff Jensen Mar 31, 2010

The dream of a happy ending for Jin and Sun died in me last night. Maybe it was the dispiriting experience of watching Sun's systematic deconstruction across two different worlds in a story in which it seemed the God of all possible worlds had declared war on her. On the Island, she lost her voice — the consequence of dark magic that stripped away her English. In the Sideways reality, she was brought to the brink of losing her very life, plus the life of her unborn child, and was left to dangle there, her fate to be determined another time, in someone else's story. Maybe it was the discouraging experience of watching Jin get so easily jerked around by some very powerful, very charismatic villains who could cloud his mind by playing to his heart. On the Island, it was Charles Widmore, promising him reunion with his family and deliverance from evil. In the Sideways reality, it was Martin Keamy, who mocked his romantic ideals to his face and managed to get him to say ''thank you'' for doing so. But mostly, my despair comes from not knowing how the hell to parse the parable of the tomato, the lone living vegetable from Sun's ravaged Island garden. Is it a symbol of stubborn hope? Or is it just a symbol of stubbornness? Is it a symbol of valentine red love? Or is it a symbol of blinding red rage? Do Jin and Sun need to learn to hold on to their dreams at all cost — or do they need to learn to let go lest those dreams damn their individual souls? Damn inscrutable tomato! Thou doest vex me!

This is all to say that for anyone who came to ''The Package'' to see the long-awaited reunion of Lost's long-separated husband and wife, it didn't happen. What ''The Package'' gave us instead was a Pandora's Box packed with paranoia, suspicion, squabbling and discord, plus a fiendish father figure or two. Or three. It was also an episode that communed ironically with one of my favorite season 1 outings, the Jin/Sun gem ''... In Translation.'' I enjoyed the episode's scope and energy. For the first time since the premiere, every single character was represented and all the major storylines were nurtured. ''The Package'' may not have advanced the plot of season 6 enough for some people, but it was plenty riveting for me. And it left me filled with dread that some seriously nasty heartbreaking big-time s--- is about to hit the fan. And hey! Desmond's back! Just in time for things to all go to hell, too...

The Sideways World
To Live and Die in L.A.

Jin-Soo Kwon. Peasant son of a poor fisherman and prostitute, ashamed of his poverty and his heritage. He dreamed of owning a hotel and restaurant. Instead, he fell in love with a criminal industrialist's daughter and became one of his goons to prove himself a worthy son-in-law. When he realized the cost of violence to his soul, Jin sought out his real father and begged forgiveness for rejecting him. His father, who had never stopped loving him, gave Jin some advice. Save your marriage. Take your wife and run away and start over in a new world. Jin resolved to do just that — right after he delivered two watches for Mr. Paik. One needed to go to Sydney, the other one needed to go to Los Angeles...

Sun-Hwa Kwon. She wanted to run away with the poor peasant with big dreams because she was sure her father wouldn't allow them to be married. Mr. Paik surprised her by giving his blessing — then crushed her when he began making Jin do goon work for him. With the marriage becoming increasingly troubled, Sun began taking English lessons as part of a plan to escape to America. In the process, she began an affair with her tutor, a former suitor named Jae Lee. When Papa Paik learned of her dishonorable infidelity, he had Jae tossed out a window. Now Sun wanted to run more than ever. But then Jin gave her a white rose, and Sun remembered why she loved him, and she found new reason to hope. She joined him on the Oceanic 815 flight to Los Angeles, not knowing the happily ever after he had planned for her there once they arrived...

''The Package'' took elements of the combined Jin/Sun narrative and scrambled them into a provocative, ironic new history for their Sideways counterparts. We met them as we left them in the season premiere. Jin — a Paik goon, still on a mission to deliver a watch in Los Angeles — had been detained at LAX after customs found $25,000 in undeclared cash in his suitcase. Sun was deer-in-the-headlights stunned. Had Jin packed the cash to bankroll a new life for Sun and himself in America? Could Sun speak English? And was the conspicuously identified ''Ms. Paik'' even married to Jin? ''The Package'' contained answers. The money was a late addition to the package Jin had to deliver to Mr. Paik's L.A. associates, Sun didn't know a lick of English, and while they were lovers, Jin made their marital status abundantly clear when he clarified they were to have separate rooms. ''No marry!'' he said, pointing to his bare ring finger.

Not that Jin was some hyper-traditional moralist like his pre-reconstructed Island world doppelganger. This Jin was just being hyper-diligent about keeping the secret of their illicit love. In this world, Jin and Sun were carrying on in private, as Sideways Paik had a rule barring employees from playing footsie with his precocious little princess. (All of this lent retroactive irony to Jin's earlier line: ''I don't ask your father questions. I do what he tells me.'') But my guess is that Sun instigated. Quite the assertive young woman, this deceptively doe-eyed sweetie! At the hotel, she invited him into her room and teased him for his paranoia (''Nobody is watching us,'' she cooed, her line ringing ironic in an episode in which everyone got in everyone else's business), then mock-scolded Jin for scolding her about that unbuttoned blouse on the plane. She reminded him of the moment by unbuttoning the button. Then another. Then another. She asked: Did he like? Jin, a Paik buttonman in more ways than one, liked very much...

They had sex, the kind of sex that's so good that it puts girls to sleep and keeps guys up worrying about What It All Means. (Was it just me, or did you get the sense that Sun was more of the dude in this relationship and Jin more of the chick? In fact, I found myself wondering if Jin wasn't the first Paik bagman she had bagged...) Big twist: Sideways Sun, romantic and yearning for freedom, had come to L.A. with Island Jin's run-away-from-Paik plan. She didn't have the English to make her way in the New World, but she did have a secret bank account stocked with cash. Jin said: I'll run away with you.'' Jin said: ''I love you.'' Sun didn't say it back. (Scoundrel!) Instead, she started to say, ''That's good, because there's something I have to — '' and then there was a knock on the door.

character to be given a long, lingering encounter with their looking-glass self. She answered the door. It was Martin Keamy, the creepy crook with the Mayan death-god last name and the Christopher Walken disposition. (In the Island world, he led the mercenaries employed by Charles Widmore to abduct Ben and torch the Island in season 4.) In ''Sundown,'' whose title now stands as ominous foreshadowing of Sideways' Sun's fate, we saw Sayid shoot Keamy dead in the kitchen of his restaurant and then find Jin tied up in the freezer. In ''The Package,'' we saw what brought both Keamy and Jin to that fateful junction — and what happened afterward.

Keamy entered Sun's room, oozing fake politeness. He identified himself as the intended recipient of Jin's delivery. He wanted it. Sun understood Keamy enough to hand over the watch. He liked it enough — but he wanted the $25,000 more. There was another knock on the door. It was Omar, Keamy's all business henchman. (In the Island world, Omar was a member of Keamy's mercenary crew, too.) Omar searched Jin's room and couldn't find the cash. Keamy saw the two champagne glasses and ruffled bed, put some things together, and soon Jin was rousted out of the bathroom. Where was the money? The Koreans could not understand and talked amongst themselves about what to do. The language barrier exasperated Keamy: ''I feel like I'm in a Godzilla movie.'' Offensive and factually inaccurate! (Personally, I got a whole Pulp Fiction vibe from this subplot. But I won't digress....)

Keamy had an idea. They would call in ''Danny's friend'' (Sideways version of Danny the dead Other, maybe?) The Russian who knew all the languages. The man known as Mikhail Bakunin.

Begin Mikhail Bakunin Mini-Dossier!

You knew him better as Patchy the Other. Man of many tongues and man of many lives. He seemed to die a couple deaths before detonating the grenade that blew a hole in the Looking Glass Station, precipitating Charlie's watery death sacrifice. Lost's Mikhail Bakunin is named after the historical Mikhail Bakunin, a philosopher and anarchist who believed in non-violent revolution and the abolishment of all government and religion. Leadership, if any, should come from an enlightened elite that benevolently and invisibly guided the masses. Famous sayings: ''Absolute freedom and absolute love — that is our aim; the freeing of humanity and the whole world — that is our purpose''; ''The idea of God implies the abdication of human reason and justice; it is the most decisive negation of human liberty, and necessarily ends in the enslavement of mankind, in theory and practice''; and ''If God really existed, it would be necessary to abolish Him.'' Basically, the real-life Mikhail Bakunin would have admired Jacob's kinda-sorta hands-off approach to human redemption and moral freedom — but he'd want Smokey to kill him, anyway. And then he'd want Smokey to kill himself and leave all of us alone.

Sideways Mikhail, who began the episode with two functioning eyes, behaved like a finely-heeled diplomat as he dutifully translated the Jin/Sun Korean. Sun explained she had money. She said she could get Keamy the money he wanted. Keamy said: Do that — but I'm keeping Jin as collateral. Then came the revelation that kicked Sun right in her nads. She was no rebel of the heart, no anarchist of the soul revolting against her father's tyrannical authority in pursuit of absolute freedom and absolute love. She was still very much his property and puppet. She was still owned. Darth Paik knew all about the princess' precious little rebellion and had quashed it before she had even launched it by taking away her secret weapon: her money. Sun was stunned. ''Why would he do that?'' Mikhail was cruel. ''Why do you think, dumbass?!'' (Note: The dumbass was silent and implied.)

Meanwhile, at Keamy's restaurant, aka Hell's Kitchen, we got a scene marked by a conspicuously perverse use of language. Omar hauled Jin into the cooler, but as he did, Jin's head banged against the steel door, making a gash. When we saw bound Jin sporting that cut in ''Sundown,'' we assumed torture. Wrong! It was just a party foul! Serves us right for assuming. Still, Keamy was upset with Omar for his sloppy attention to detail and banished his associate by ordering him to ''go get the Arab guy.'' (That would be Sayid.) Omar felt dissed by Keamy's casual racism, objectification, and Otherification. (Keamy had lauded Omar for his loyalty; I wondered why Omar would remain loyal to someone who made him feel so worthless.) Then, Keamy messed with Jin's mind by doing a very mean thing: He told him the truth, but in English, so Jin could never understand. He told Jin he had been hired by Mr. Paik to kill Jin for fooling around with his daughter. He told Jin that the money Jin had brought into the country was actually payment for the hit. Ice cold! Keamy's words said one thing — I'm going to kill you when I get my money — but his sympathetic tone was calibrated to say the exact opposite. He took fiendish delight with his knowing doublespeak, no more so than with his line ''the heart wants what it wants.'' Jin probably thought Keamy was trying to speak the universal language of love, that Keamy, like, understood him or something. Actually, Keamy was no doubt again indulging his unique brand of racially charged humor, as ''the heart wants what it the heart wants'' is most famous for being Woody Allen's infamous defense for cheating on his wife, Mia Farrow, with the actress' Korean adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn.

Jin's lost-in-translation response to all this? ''Thank you.'' Keamy just smirked and shook his head at Jin's total cluelessness. But he had achieved the intended effect of keeping Jin docile, pliant and agreeably quiet as he took care of business with ''the Arab guy.'' In other words, Keamy's brainwashing cooler in Los Angeles = the Room 23 brainwashing room on Hydra Island, which we visited during Island Jin's storyline. We'll get to that later, but let's note here that the only other time we saw Room 23 in use was when Karl was being punished by Ben for... dating his daughter Alex. Sideways Jin + Sun = Island Karl and Alex, both of whom were shot and killed by... Island Keamy and Omar.

FYI: During the Jin-Keamy scene, Jin got his own mirror moment, his image reflected in the steel of a freezer — but Jin didn't notice. Significant? Debate.

Then Sayid happened. Jin thought he had been liberated — deus ex assassina. But Sayid didn't really care, and told him so. Sayid turned to leave. Jin protested. Free me! Sayid spotted a box cutter and placed it in his palms. ''Good luck,'' said Sayid, the shruggy hero. Free yourself, comrade. I am otherwise indifferent to you. Now, I must go to my Ayn Rand book club. Ciao, Stranger. It was the most this Good Samaritan felt obligated to do.

While Jin cut through the tape, Mikhail arrived with Sun. They found a kitchen nightmare that would make even Gordon Ramsay curl up in a ball. Mikhail crouched down to examine Keamy. Interesting: Keamy was a still alive. And he was strong enough to tell Mikhail that there was a Korean guy behind him with gun to his head. Mikhail — who shrewdly deduced that Jin was incapable of the carnage around him but concluded perhaps incorrectly that Jin was no killer — smiled an angel-of-death smile and snapped into killing-machine mode. He spun away from the gun and they fought. The gun discharged twice. Jin — whose Island iteration had kicked Patchy's ass in ''Catch-22'' — got some distance on Mikhail and proved him wrong about his killer's gumption by popping a cap in Bakunin's eyeball. Ouch. Mikhail died one eye blind, Battleship Potemkin by way of Moe Green. Do svidaniya, Russian guy.

Had Jin escaped from evil? Yes. But Sun had been touched by it, perhaps fatally. One if not two of those discharged bullets blasted into her abdomen, threatening her own precious package. ''I'm pregnant,'' she told Jin, finishing the thought that had been interrupted by Keamy's fateful arrival into their lives earlier that afternoon. We left the lovers lost in Los Angeles, one them dying, the whole of their love imperiled. Cliffhanger. Paging Dr. Jack Shephard! Paging Dr. Jack Shephard! Stop picking Sun's Island tomatoes and report to your Sideways ER, stat!

This Island Earth!
Land of Confusion

In the Sideways world, Jin and Sun were at the mercy of those whose language they didn't understand. On the Island, their plight was slightly worse: They understood, but they couldn't discern the sincerity. If there was a sign that hung on the gates of this epistemological inferno, it should read: ''Trust no one — even someone you think might be telling you the truth.'' This wasn't just a Jin/Sun problem in ''The Package'' — this was everyone's problem. The theme was perhaps best articulated in the exchange between Ilana and Ben, whom she suspected of being deceitful. Ben: ''Why don't you believe me?'' Ilana: ''Because you're speaking.'' (Ilana may have been willing to take Ben into her company back in ''Dr. Linus,'' but she's clearly not yet ready to trust him.) And now we know why Dogen and the Man In Black advocate the policy of ''stab and kill with the weird ceremonial knife first, ask questions later.''

To me, ''The Package'' seemed to mark the true start of the Island endgame. Said contest will boil down to a competition among storytellers, long-conners, and unreliable narrators for the hearts, minds, and trust of the castaways/candidates. Whom to believe? Right now, the matter seems to be undecided. The episode itself mirrored that uncertainty with its very first scene. The opening shot — seen through night vision goggles — evoked the surveillance cinematography of reality shows like Survivor, Big Brother, and of course that mega-hit Dating In The Dark. (I will also accept the film Paranormal Activity.) We saw and heard Kate and Sawyer talk about faux cocoa. Then we saw Fake Locke stroll through his camp twirling his big stick — and then the shot broke off, as if Spooky Smokey's unreal visage had short-circuited the equipment. It was a very un-Lost bit of storytelling. Opening an episode on an eyeball fluttering awake? Yes. Seeing the world through an eyeball? No. I found the effect rather disorienting, which I think was the intention. Who's in control? Who's running the show? Whose vision will win out on Master Plan Island?

chats. First up: Fake Locke and Jin. Topic: Had Jin been informed of the whole numbered candidate thing? Yep. But was ''42'' Sun or himself? Unclear. But either way, Fake Locke vowed to reunite Jin with his wife. He also told Jin the tall tale that in order for everyone to get off the Island, all the living candidates had to join them. What he didn't tell Jin was what we learned last week about the Monster's true mission. In order to be free from the Island, he has to kill not only Jacob, but also all the candidates eligible to replace him. We'll be analyzing Fake Locke's actions from that perspective until we're given reason to do otherwise.

Next, His Royal Smokeyness talked with Sayid. Fake Locke wanted Sayid to watch his peeps while he went on a hush-hush errand. But all Sayid wanted to talk about was his feelings — or rather, his lack of feeling. He confessed that he felt profoundly numb. Actually, Sayid sounded like he was... dead. ''I don't feel anything. Anger, happiness, pain... I don't feel them.'' (Philosophy professors! Feel free to use this scene when you teach the concept of ''The Philosophical Zombie.'') Fake Locke's response was a mysterious as it was chilling. ''Maybe it's for the best, Sayid. It'll help you get through what's coming.'' I have to think that Fake Locke was flicking at his plan to somehow get Sayid killed, an experience which for a normal person would no doubt involve some pain and anger. But how do we explain Sayid's numbness? My theory of the week is that we're dealing with the controversial theological concept of ''soul sleep,'' the idea that the soul dies with the body, or at least falls into a slumber and doesn't awaken until Judgment Day. It would be fitting that this idea is embodied by Sayid, as the concept originated with a third century Christian sect called the Thnetopsychitae, based in Arabia. The concept later morphed into the word psychopannychia, or mind-soul/all night vigil. Wasn't Sayid singled out as ''an Arab'' in the episode? And didn't Fake Locke tell Sayid to stand vigil during the night while he was away? See? Soul sleep!

With Fake Locke gone, Jin tried to leave. He didn't care what Fake Locke was promising him, he wanted nothing to do with ''that thing.'' Sawyer tried to stop him from doing something rash. And then they were all stopped dead in their tracks. Taser/tranq/something darts plunged into necks of everyone at Camp Locke. They passed out, WIdmore's people, led by Zoe, swooped in and abducted Jin, and the game was afoot.

Meanwhile, it was just another day at the beach for Team Ilana. Which is to say, more milling around and mulling what they need to be doing. Was Richard coming back after stomping away from them last episode? Was he really going to join the Man In Black? Ilana advised them — or maybe more like ordered them — to sit tight and wait. Which was the last thing Sun wanted to hear. She had spent three years scrambling to get Jin back. She wanted to keep pushing toward that goal. To stop and to sit and to wait was anathema to her. Of course, it might also mean that she'd have to stop and reflect and think about her choices, maybe take responsibility for her emotional life and accept that things do change — wait. How did those thoughts sneak into this piece!? Damn that Room 23 and its subliminal messages! Anyway, Sun flipped. She stormed off to her refuge, her garden o' busy work, which fortunately offered her a great deal of mind-numbing manual labor to do since it had gone to weedy pot during her three years away from the Island. Jack showed up and wanted to know if Sun wanted to talk about destiny and stuff. No! Get out! Leave me to my pity party! And so he did.

Man put on his friendliest air and made her one of his devilish bargains. Join me, and I can reunite you with Jin immediately. Sun gulped again. She couldn't trust the counterfeit human, this unnatural entity, this inorganic veggie of a man, and so she made like Kate and ran. UnLocke got pissy and ran after her — on foot. Why didn't he convert into a raging column of smoke and blow past her? Hmmm... Sun looked back. Oops. You never look back when you're running from the devil (see: Persephone and Hades), and Sun smacked into a low-hanging tree limb, earning her a forehead owie to match the one her Sideways soulmate got from the cooler door. Matching ouchies! How romantic...

Sun's head trauma was much worse, of course. As she regained consciousness in the company of recovering rogue Ben, Sun realized she had lost her English and could only speak Korean. (The irony: Ben, the man she once tried to kill, now playing the role of her Good Samaritan. Ben's redemption arc continues!) Doc Shephard diagnosed her with aphasia; I diagnosed her with Genesis 11. The story of the Tower of Babel goes something like this: Once upon a time, there was a city unified by culture, language, and audacious human ambition: to build a tower that could reach heaven. God was alarmed by humanity's outsized hubris and decided to humble them — and divide them up — by ''confusing their speech,'' i.e. igniting an outbreak of foreign tongues. The denizens of the city dispersed into separate communities, cultures, and nations. Hence, The Bible's mythic explanation for a world of difference and Otherness. However, different religious traditions tell slightly different versions of the story. In the Kabbalah version, for example, the Tower of Babel isn't a tower at all — it's a giant flying machine.

The relevancy to Lost? It's all about Fake Locke's plan to get the candidates killed. Remember last episode that Richard had a spiritual revival in the Island's Garden of Eden, underneath a massive Kabbalah-esque Tree of Life. Remember that Fake Locke witnessed that moment. Clearly, he knew Richard would be returning to the beach with a new sense of mission — a mission that I'm now beginning to wonder if Fake Locke/Man In Black gave him. A number of you last week speculated that when Isabella was speaking to Richard via Hurley, she was being controlled by — or was a manifestation of — Smokey. I didn't want to believe that at the time, but I find myself believing in it now. Consider what Richard said when got back to the beach last night. He surmised that Fake Locke plans to flee the Island via a giant flying machine — the Ajira plane. The mission: Blow up the plane. My thinking? Fake Locke is basically running the same con that Sawyer's been trying to run on him. He's trying to bait Team Richard into making a move on Ajira so Charles Widmore will kill them. A more dastardly thought: Smokey is conspiring to get everyone onto that plane — specifically the candidates from his group plus the candidates from Richard's group — in hopes that Widmore will blow it out of the sky. So why take away Sun's speech? Because after she declined his offer, he knew she'd try to talk her friends out the plan — which she did try to do. Either that, or Fake Locke wasn't thinking short term at all by taking away Sun's English, but rather was planting a seed designed that will bare him fruit down the road when Team Richard executes its plan. In other words: Look for Sun's loss of English to prove costly at a pivotal point in Operation: Ajirasplosion.

on Lost in which a character mysteriously lost the ability to communicate verbally. The episode was ''Further Instructions,'' and the victim was Locke himself. The Island had taken away his speech in the aftermath of the Hatch explosion as a kind of punishment for his big season 2 sin: Straying from his Island mission and becoming obsessed with pushing the Button, abandoning the natural world of jungle for the unnatural environs of The Hatch. Stripping Locke of his speech was part of the Island's way of dressing down its unfaithful servant and reminding him of who he was and what he was supposed to being doing. Perhaps Sun was stripped of her English for similar reasons. After all, she learned the language in order to run away from Jin. Moreover, she learned it from a man that became her lover. Sun's English had once saved her husband from the false charge of setting fire to the raft. It helped her build bridges with the castaways. Otherwise, her English must be something of a bitter talent. To use a phrase from Dogen, she must ''hate the way it tastes on her tongue.'' Regardless, she doesn't need it anymore. Her future is in Korea, with her husband, with her daughter, and with a mother and father that need her forgiveness. So maybe losing her English wasn't a psychic assault. Maybe it was a movement of the Island to reminder her of who she is — and what she needs redemption for.

All this said, I think her outburst at Richard was the most telling — and possibly worrisome — development of the evening when it came to Sun. She blasted him for wanting to blow up what had been her escape plan: Find Jin, get Frank Lapidus to fly them off the Island. Moreover, she didn't want to ''save the world.'' She just wanted her lover back! On one hand, you could say it provided her with a much-needed opportunity for catharsis. On the other hand, it betrayed just how tightly she holds onto her past and her dreams of happiness, and the ideals she might sell out to make them come true. We've seen throughout the season that people who cling too tightly to dreams, who have an almost idolatrous relationship to their dreams — Claire and Aaron/motherhood; Sayid and Nadia/true love — they become easy to manipulate, easy to corrupt. Jack gave her the gift of a tomato. He found it in her dead garden, stubbornly clinging to life. I think Jack offered it to her as a symbol of hope in a moment in which she sorely needed it. Okay. But you could also view it as a symbol of... well, stubbornness. Of not knowing when to quit. Of not knowing when to let go. Does Sun need to learn these lessons? Maybe. But she should definitely be thinking about them instead of running away from them. Which is why the gift of the notebook was a gift indeed, for the work it will require will force her to reflect. ''It'll take you a little longer to get your point across,'' he said, ''but at least you have your voice back.'' (I just wish he hadn't made her that promise to get her back with Jin and get them off the Island. Yes, I'm sure he wants to atone for being partially responsible for separating Jin and Sun in the first place. But I'm not sure this recovering fixer is ready to be making messianic promises like that.) (Regardless, English kinda took a beating this week, didn't it? I want all you budding Noam Chomskies out there to write me a 10,000-word research paper on English as a metaphor for a corrupt culture that requires salvation from sophistry and renewed commitment to meaning. Be sure you cite things like ''memes,'' ''spin doctoring,'' ''Swift Boat,'' ''crisis management,'' and Stephen Colbert's philosophy of ''truthiness.'')

to his camp and found his peeps recovering from Team Zoe's taser attack. He was smokin' mad. As he later told Sawyer, ''I don't like surprises.'' It was interesting to see that Smokey wasn't omnipotent and omniscient as he sometimes appears to be... though again, I continue to wonder how much of the persona he presents to the castaways and how much of the information he gives them about himself is but a long con designed to lead them to wrong conclusions about his master plan and poor estimations about his ability and power. For now, let's say he was genuinely unnerved by the sneak attack. And he wasn't about to let the indignity stand. He zipped over to Hydra Island and casually strolled the beach, drawing fire from the spooked Widmore goons hiding behind the sonic fence. Widmore himself emerged from the brush and the two hair-challenged fiends had a summit. FLocke said that yes, he knew who Widmore was. Did Widmore know who Fake Locke was? ''Obviously you're not John Locke,'' he said. ''Everything else I know is a combination of myth, ghost stories and jungle stories in the night.'' Fake Locke eyeballed the sonic fences and called him out: Clearly Widmore knew a little more about The Monster if he knew to make use of the pylons. Pulling from the memory of John Locke, FLocke threw some of Wilmore's own words back at him. ''A wise man once said, ‘War is coming to this island.' I think it just got here.'' Question: Was Fake Locke talking about Widmore — or himself?

Charles Widmore had one thing in common with Fake Locke: both experienced complications in their master plans. We learned that Zoe had jumped the gun when she abducted Jin from the beach. Widmore fumed. Zoe retorted: ''Well maybe you should have put a mercenary in charge instead of a geophysicist.'' And why would Widmore need a geophysicist playing point guard for his newest Island incursion team? The answer fed the mystery of Wilmore's true intentions. Zoe's job is to locate one or more hotspots of electromagnetic energy on the Island. The reason why they needed Jin (sooner or later) was because he had apparently mapped those hotspots during his days in the Dharma Initiative. What might Widmore be looking for? Frozen Donkey Wheel? The Temple's resurrection hot spring? New Mythological Landmark TBD? Regardless, I stick to my long held theory of Wilmore's motivations: the quest for eternal life. (P.S.: Is Sheila Kelly working for you as Zoe? My guess is no. Me? Meh.)

send them home. Jin could get behind both those ideas. Widmore sealed the deal on procuring Jin's loyalty by giving him Sun's camera, which Wilmore's peeps had found on the Ajira plane. Jin choked back on tears as he saw for the first time his daughter, Ji-Yeon. I thought, Well played, Mr. Widmore. Well played. Maybe all his empathetic talk about also being a father who's suffering through separation and estrangement from his daughter was sincere. But I'm not buying it. The proof came in the form of the ace in the hole of his Island campaign: ''The Package.'' Not a what, Widmore said. A who. By episode's end, we were led to believe that who to be Desmond Hume. We saw him get hauled out of the sub, weak and sickly and trailing strings of IV tubing. Sayid saw him, too. Tasked by Fake Locke to finish the recon Sawyer couldn't complete a couple episodes ago, Sayid floated like a killer croc in the water as Desmond stumbled and fell and made eye contact with him. Hopefully we'll soon see what makes Desmond so ''special'' and why Widmore has always wanted on the Island. Whatever it is, it can't be good. Which means that Desmond has one thing in common with Sideways Jin: they both have fathers-in-law that want them dead.

Stuff we didn't talk about: How Mr. Paik's bid to block Sun's escape plan = the Jacob/Team Richard bid to block the Man In Black's escape plan; Sawyer sweating the viability of his own escape plan; Fake Locke's manipulation of Claire and plan to pit her against Kate; the return of Room 23; and whether or not you, too, are wondering if Desmond Hume might actually be Sideways Desmond Hume. But my time has run out, and you deserve a chance to talk back. Check out the new episode of ''Totally Lost,'' a four-part epic graced by the presence of Titus Welliver (the Man In Black) and some choice clips from the original Clash of the Titans. I'll be back on Friday with a new column. Namaste!
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"Ab Aeterno" Poll Results

What did you think of "Ab Aeterno"?

So Awesome, we got so many answers!
17 (80%)

So Great it made me want to follow Jacob
4 (19%)

OK
0 (0%)

So BAD it made me want to follow MIB
0 (0%)

As HORRIBLE as Hell
0 (0%)

Votes so far: 21


What were your favorate moments of "Ab Aeterno"?

Seeing more of Ilana's Flashback
1 (5%)

Finally seeing Richard's Flashback!!!!!
15 (88%)

Isabella telling Richard that she would be with him always
1 (5%)

Confrontation with the doctor and prison
1 (5%)

The Black Rock knocking over the Statue
8 (47%)

MIB freeing Richard and telling him to kill Jacob
4 (23%)

Richard fighting Jacob and Jacob dunking Richard in the water
7 (41%)

Jacob giving Richard immortality
7 (41%)

The Richard/Hurley/Isabella moment
9 (52%)

Jacob explaining that the island is the cork keeping MIB away from the world
14 (82%)

The Jacob/MIB scene at the end
14 (82%)

Votes so far: 17


What did you think of Richards Flashback?

It was everything that I excpected!
5 (41%)

I was expecting something different and it still suppassed my expectations!!!!
7 (58%)

I expected better
0 (0%)

To predictable and weak
0 (0%)

Votes so far: 12

Lost Music Videos - Ben

Played to Michael Jackson's "Ben"

Doc Jensen: 'Lost' recap: Uncorked

''Ab Aeterno'' puts the spotlight on Richard Alpert, and gives us more insight into Jacob and the Man In Black
By Jeff Jensen Mar 24, 2010

It began in the darkest of night, on the shores of a place Richard Alpert called Hell. It ended in Easter daylight, in a lush Eden, with the ageless enigma trembling with much fear and a glimmer of hope. In between, we got a story that asked questions that we've been asking ab aeterno — since the beginning. What is good? What is evil? How do we know the difference? Who knows what is truly best for us? Who should we trust? How do we make moral choices amid such ambiguity? Why must we figure this stuff out on our own? Why don't the gods of the universe play straight with us? How the flaming hell are we supposed to live like this?

''Ab Aeterno'' — the story of two great and powerful and angry gentlemen and a third who wasn't quite sure who or what he was anymore — was miles away from Two and a Half Men. It was a heavy, heady hour of TV suffused with Biblical subtext, scribbled with subtitles, and stuffed with answers for the show's Island mythology, albeit in a fabulist form requiring careful interpretation and a clarification or two. Or more. In addition to getting a story that revealed how Richard Alpert got to The Island, we got a story that revealed more of the historical relationship between Jacob and the Man In Black. Indeed, we got the sense that the battle these two angels/demons/whatchamacallums waged over Alpert's soul was actually the first phase of Man In Black's 140-years-in-the-making Smoke-man from Alcatraz escape plan. The episode used a corked, half-empty jug of wine as a metaphor for The Island as a never-to-be-opened holding container for hell and assorted analogous concepts: malevolence, evil, darkness, more. Jacob said all those words were functional words to characterize the archetype embodied by the Man In Black. (No doubt Smokey's own interpretation of Jacob's symbols would have been be more charitable and ''glass half full.'')

Wine was one of several religious symbols of the Catholic-Christian stripe that ''Ab Aeterno'' employed and subverted. I was reminded of the cryptic Last Supper images that ABC released prior to the season, particularly the one in which the castaways were seen serving and sipping the wine at Fake Locke's Passover table. Jacob might say, ''They're drinking poison!'' Smokey's interpretation? Judging from the way he smashed the bottle/metaphor to bits, maybe he'd say ''They're drinking spirits. I mean, their souls. I'm pouring out and returning their souls to them. Get it? Wine = Spirits = Souls? No? Oh, screw this symbology s--t! It's just a damn bottle of wine!''

'Ab Aeterno'' was a big winner in my book. My guess is that most fans feel the same way. As I write these words, Rainn Wilson, star of The Office, just Tweeted the following: ''Tonight's episode was one of TV's greatest of all time. I'm gay for the eternal Richard Alpert. There I said it.'' It was definitely the most unusual episode Lost has given us this season, a mostly linear tale akin to ''The Other 48 Days'' from season 2, ''Flashes Before Your Eyes'' in Season 3, and ''Meet Kevin Johnson'' from season 4. It was technically a flashback episode, thanks to the Island-set framing story; it was definitely not a Sideways episode. (I will pause a microsecond to allow the silly haters to cheer.) It was also the ninth hour of Lost's 18-hour final season. We're halfway to the finish, and the castaways are halfway to home or oblivion. Which one will it be? Right now, I guess it depends on how you view the jug. But let's crack it open and see if we find clarity. And I promise: a minimum of drunken theorizing this week.

The year: 1867. Ricardo was a handsome and horsey man with spectacular eyelashes and little time for shaving. He was a Spaniard who lived on the largest Canary Islands, Tenerife. (FUN FACT! Tenerife is known for its ancient pyramids believed by some to be a link between Egyptian and Mayan cultures.) Ricardo — brave ruler — had a wife. Isabella. God's promise. God is my oath. Pledged to God. The Penelope to his Desmond. His constant. Totally dug her cheese — but not her bloody coughs. She had TB, and she was dying. We met her close to death, clutching her Bible, ready to make peace with mortality. She was all Rose: Time to let go. But Ricardo was not ready to surrender. He was all Jack: Nothing's irreversible. He stormed off into a raging rain, determined to bring back medicine that would restore her to life. ''I pray that I have enough,'' Ricardo said. The difference between Ricardo and Isabella was where they stored their treasure. Isabella kept it in Heaven; Ricardo kept it on Earth. The chasm would prove significant.

Ricardo galloped to the home of a wealthy doctor dressed in a black vest. He needed help. The Black Vest was too busy gumming some greasy chicken, and what's more, wasn't about to get his fine ebony threads all wet for some poor peasant chick in the sticks. But he had some medicine — pure and white and salt-of-the-earthish. It would help Isabella. But it would cost Ricardo... a lot. Ricardo dumped some coins in Black Vest's hand. More, the doctor wanted. Ricardo gave him his wife's most precious possession, a necklace with a cross pendant — the symbol of her life; her soul; her eternal hope. ''Now you have everything,'' Ricardo said. Black Vest threw it to the ground. It came to rest near the inferno of his fireplace. ''This is worthless,'' he said. Her life meant nothing to him. Medicine, humanitarianism, good Samaritan — all blah blah blah to this monster. Ricardo snapped at the injustice. Grab! Push! Krunk-crack! Thud! Drip drip drip drip.... Black Vest's noggin bashed against his table. He bled out like a spilled jug of wine. Ricardo was now a murderer — but he took the medicine anyway and galloped back home. But Isabella was already dead. Was he simply too late? Or did she die because of his sin? And then the Javerts broke in, and Ricardo was muy miserables.

Ricardo was put in prison and sentenced to die. He spent his remaining days teaching himself English and reading the Bible. He had become converted, or so he believed. We saw him reading Luke chapter 4. In this chapter: Christ's temptation in the wilderness by Satan; Christ beginning his public ministry; Christ citing the proverb ''Physician, heal thyself!''; the story of Christ healing the sick and casting out demons. Yay for born again Ricardo, right? Wrong. He made his final confession to a priest — another man in black. But the priest coldly rejected Ricardo's petition with a brutal ''No.'' It made me wonder if the priest declined the confession because he saw that it wasn't genuine. Ricardo didn't really consider himself guilty of a crime. He called it accidental. He called it killing instead of murder. He didn't view himself as a sinner who needed God. Rather, God was a means to an end — a last gasp hope to be reconciled with Isabella in the heaven of her faith. Still, I think Father Black's further explanation will be one for the theologians amongst us to debate. True repentance requires penance, Father Black said. ''You don't have time... because tomorrow they're going to hang you. I'm afraid the devil awaits you in hell.'' This makes sense. It's kind of galling to think that rapists and serials killers and genocidal maniacs would get a Go Directly To Heaven! card with a simple if sincere spiritual conversion minutes before their execution. But if the monsters invalidate the principal, what about everyone else? Whither the multifold of lesser evil lifelong unbelievers — misunderstood villains, semi-harmless jerks, nice guy agnostics, message board slaggers — who on their deathbeds suddenly get the eternity jitters and bet their spiritual house on Pascal's Wager? Should St. Peter rubberstamp them DENIED and trapdoor drop them into Hades just because they didn't have time to complete the full redemption program?

Regardless, as I listened to Father's Black's pitiless theology, I found myself thinking this theory-thought: If only there was some second-chance place somewhere in the land of the setting sun, where you and other last-chance souls can band together and fight smoke monsters and prove yourself to cryptic gods and successfully score a seat on a flight or sub to Heaven. Could that be a viable theory of The Island?

Ricardo thought he found a different kind of reprieve: slavery. He had told Father Black that he and Isabella had dreamed of leaving their Island and finding new life as new creations in the New World. Father Black tipped off a fellow named Mr. Jonas Whitfield, an officer in the employ of Magnus Hanso, a shipping merchant and slave owner, that Ricardo was basically the kind of guy who'd do anything to stay alive — even suffer dehumanization. Ricardo got a new lease on life by accepting a leash, and he soon found himself in manacles and anklets in the bowels of Hanso's ship: The Black Rock. According an apocryphal quasi-canon texts of Lost, Magnus Hanso was an ancestor of Alvar Hanso, the financier behind The Dharma Initiative. I encourage you to peruse his deets at Lostpedia at your leisure on another occasion.

The Black Rock found itself bumping through the proverbial dark and stormy night. Ricardo and his fellow human cargo worried as their stomachs heaved: This is the end/for us my slavey friends/The End... Their frightened tenor turned apocalyptic when they all peeked through the slats and saw the toothy crocodile grin of towering Taweret on the shores of The Island. Taweret: the Egyptian goddess of pregnancy and childbirth, a former bad girl goddess who redeemed herself and helped keep the god of evil Set in check. Not that the Spaniards knew their Taweret from toejam, but they did know their Dante. ''Inferno,'' SlaveSock intoned. The Black Rock caught a wave and hurtled straight into Taweret's mug. In the aftermath, Taweret lost her head and became The Four Toed Statue, and The Black Rock crashed in the center of The Island, where the impact shattered the ship into a million pieces and Ricardo and his friends died instantly... but then both boat and humans were miraculously reconstructed by a flock of magical talking Hurley birds. All to say that I didn't quite understand how The Black Rock survived The Island belly flop, but I rolled with it because 1. If rolling with it hasn't become an instinctive reflex by now, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself; and 2. It evoked one of Lost's key literary touchstones, The Wizard of Oz. Ricardo and The Black Rock touching down on The Island = Dorothy and her house landing in Oz. Indeed, just like Dorothy's adventure was a fantastical mirror of her hard-luck dustbowl life and plucky spirit, Ricardo's Island origin story played like a ''This is your life!'' phantasmagoria of his hardscrabble underclass existence and religiously shaped/scarred psyche. (P.S.: I know many of you are wondering if Lost made a continuity error regarding the time of day of The Black Rock's arrival. The error assumes that the ship that Jacob and the Man In Black saw last season during the sunny breakfast talk was The Black Rock. I was among those who assumed it was The Black Rock; I am now going to assume that I was simply wrong to have assumed that. See? Error resolved!)

Of course, Ricardo's Island ordeal also followed the beats of the mythical drama that apparently must always play out when castaways arrive on The Island, albeit with some bleak derivations. The Mysterious Island Arrival is followed by The Mad Scramble To Get Our Bearings, followed by A Heroic, Idealistic Embrace Of Live Together, Die Alone Survival Ethos... unless you're two-thirds man slave property and deemed a drain on precious resources, in which case you get skewered through the heart by the designated castaway leader. The scene was Richard's class struggle of life in little deadly strokes. (That scene, with Mr. Whitfield systematically murdering Ricardo's' steerage friends — chilling. In his small defense, I got a whiff of mercy killing, too, and certain eau de Dogen: I think it would be better if you were dead.) And then: Monster Attack. First, the crew was chomped. Then, Mr. Whitfield was plucked and crunched. With that, Jacob and MIB's latest Olympiad of the Soul had been christened with bloody sacrifice.

Smokey snatched up Whitfield's body seconds before he was going to shish kabob Ricardo. It was a deus ex machina salvation. But then he saw the face of divine intervention on The Island, and it was terrifying. Smokey snaked into the ship and slowly tikatikatikatika'd over to Alpert. Then, Smokey bent into shape so he could get a good look at Richard (Those are some amazing eyelashes, he thought) and then flashed him with his psychic strobes. After acquiring the necessary intel from Richard's head, Smokey left — and Richard fainted.

Days passed. Richard tried to escape his bonds by prying a nail out of the floor and using it dig around the chain mounts on the wall. It was slow work. He was making progress, but he was also becoming dehydrated and weak. Then the boar — always an omen of demons and doom on Lost — showed up and began eating out of a dead man's stomach. The sinister swine then charged past Richard, knocking the nail out his reach. Despair. More days passed. Then, Isabella showed up. They were in Hell, she said. The devil was chasing her, she said. Let me help you out of those chains before he comes back, she said. Then: Tikatikatikatkatikatka. Ricardo told her to flee, that he would find her, save her. She padded up the steps. Ricardo heard scary sounds. Ricardo concluded: The Monster got her. Ricardo screamed. We said: Ricardo, you've been played. Someone or something left you down there to weaken your body and soften your mind to set you up to be their killing tool. Someone has played a Ben/Sawyer long con on you to warp you into a reckless hero like Jack, or worse, a ruthless assassin like Sayid. And here he comes now...

Enter the Man In Black. He gave slumbering Ricardo a long touch on his shoulder. Ricardo woke, then was taken aback. MIB called himself a friend, but everything after that seemed suspiciously tailored to Ricardo's worldview/state of mind. Yep, friend, you're in hell, the Nameless one (lied?) purred. Your wife? The devil has her. Sure, I can help you out those chains (Lucky you! I found the keys!), and sure, I can help you save her... Then came the bargaining. ''I want to be free, too,'' MIB explained. ''I need to know you will help me. You will do anything I ask. Then we are agreed?'' Ricardo said Si. This Is Your Life, Richard: Another man in black, selling salvation at a price.

Ricardo delighted in his release from bondage. MIB shared in that joy. ''It's good to see you out of those chains,'' MIB said, radiating true sincerity. He scooped up weak, witless Richard, and there was a quick shot of what looked like Ricardo's eyes looking cataract-gray blind and almost rolling into the back of his head. MIB carried Ricardo's half-life weight up and out of The Black Rock, and as he did, I recalled the words Richard had been reading in his cell from Luke 4: ''The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind; to set free those who are downtrodden, and proclaim the year of the Lord.'' In this scenario, Smokey = Jesus. He played the part — but is he Christ or anti-Christ? We debate.

The matter got murkier as the episode progressed. In the ruins of some ancient garden, the Man In Black quickly nursed some vitality back into Ricardo with roasted pig. ''I'm going to need your strength to escape,'' said MIB, a line also spoke to the Island drama in the present, in which MIB/Fake Locke needs the strength/support of the castaways to complete his supernatural prison break. As Ricardo chomped, MIB said some interesting things about himself. He claimed that ''the devil'' had ''betrayed'' him. ''He took my body. My humanity.'' My guess is that hard-core theorists will spend the next week factoring that bit of info into their ''Who is Smokey?'' conjectures. Some ideas I'm mulling over? Cain and Abel, the world's first CSI murder case. Cain was punished to wander the world as an immortal entity because he murdered his brother. He was also given a dark mark to scare away anyone who'd want to do him harm. I'd dare say that Earth-bound immortality qualifies as a kind of body-nullifying, dehumanizing curse — and that being able to convert into black smoke and change shape can qualify as some kind of protective-spooky defensive mechanism. Abel's final fate is more on-the-nose with Lost: Wikipedia cites an apocryphal Biblical text that says that Abel now resides in a ''netherworld,'' an ''awful man'' who is tasked with judging all creatures, and examining the righteous and the sinners.''

Irrelevant? Maybe. But it was hard for me to resist the connection when MIB and Ricardo started talking about murder. ''There's only one way out of hell,'' MIB said. ''We're going to have to kill the devil.'' Ricardo argued that he'd basically be damning his soul with the same sin that damned him in the first place. Again: shades of Sayid. MIB got pragmatic on him. ''My friend, you and I can talk all day long about what is right and what is wrong but the question before you remains the same: Do you ever want to see your wife again?'' His utilitarian logic is located in the broad, contentious body of thought known as ''Consequentialism.'' As you might glean from MIB's sentiment, a weaknesses of ''Consequentialism'' is its shaky, nebulous definition of justice. A major egghead in this field? Jeremy Bentham, the name Charles Widmore gave John Locke before his death. He had at least one thing in common with MIB/Fake Locke: Bentham was an abolitionist. And that explains everything, right? Right! Moving on...

The Man In Black sent his newly emancipated angel of death to the beach to slay Jacob with a ceremonial knife that looked very similar to the one Sayid stabbed Fake Locke with, if not the exact same would-be murder weapon. Ricardo got the same specific instruction that Sayid got, too: Stab first; don't even let him to talk to you. He eyeballed the shadowy entrance to Jacob's crypt-HQ, then got his ass kicked three different ways by the sunny blonde demigod, new and improved with action hero powers. He interrogated Ricardo with a mix of indignation and glibness that was both terrifying and funny. I loved the way he was framed against the blue sky, bright and elemental, a morning star. The Latin word for ''morning star''? That's right: Lucifer. Which brings us to the semiotic cipher that is Mark Pellegrino. The actor is marvelous as Jacob. But Pellegrino also appears on Supernatural, playing... Lucifer. According to a few recaps I've read, Pellegrino's Lucifer is on a mission to purge the Earth of mankind, which he views as innately corrupt, and torments humans with visions of the dearly departed dead. He also requires a human host to get around. Again, I say all of this having never seen an episode of Supernatural, so here's hoping the Internet is reasonably correct. Regardless, I find the Lucifer/Luciferesque overlaps between Supernatural and Lost to be intriguing and ingenious. What better way to cultivate further mystery around Jacob's moral allegiance than by casting him with an actor who currently plays the devil on another show? One would assume that neither Lost nor Pellegrino would want to duplicate efforts — unless encouraging that assumption is exactly why you make that move. Hmm... will the series reveal that Sideways Lost = the Supernatural world?

Jacob listened to Ricardo accuse him of being the devil and heard the allegation that he had kidnapped his wife. Jacob seemed genuinely taken aback that MIB had tried to kill him. He was even more bothered by Ricardo's insistence that he was dead and in hell. Jacob picked him up and dunked him in the surf repeatedly — water-boarding as wake-up call/baptism. Jacob: ''Still think you're dead? Why should I stop?'' Ricardo: ''Because I want to live!'' Jacob: ''That's the first sensible thing you've said.'' He then dumped him on the beach. ''Get up. We need to talk,'' he said. Interesting: MIB's m.o. was all about helping people to their feet. Jacob's m.o. was all about making people do it themselves. Physician, heal thyself!

The theme of self-determination continued in their conversation. Jacob brought his jug of wine and poured them both a drink. I was again reminded that Jacob looks like Sting, that the former leader singer of The Police had recorded a song about a son who engages in a drinking game with The King of Season to release his father from The Soul Cages. Ricardo asked him if he was the devil. Jacob smirked, as if enjoying a private joke. Maybe he wanted to say: ''Yes, I am — on another network.'' Instead, he just said, ''No.'' He took responsibility for bringing The Black Rock to The Island. And when Ricardo asked why and what for, we got the Allegory of the Jug.

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''Think of this wine for what you keep calling hell. There are many other names for it, too. Malevolence. Evil. Darkness. And here it is, swirling around in the bottle, unable to get out because if it did, it would spread. The cork is this island. And it's the only thing keeping the darkness where it belongs. That man who sent you to kill me thinks that everyone is corruptible because it's in their very nature to sin. I bring people here to prove him wrong. And when they get here, their past doesn't matter.'' (Note that Jacob seems to be evoking the idea of Original Sin. More on this in a minute.)

Ricardo asked if others had been brought to The Island before him. ''Yes. Many,'' Jacob said. Ricardo asked what happened to them. ''They're all dead,'' he replied matter-of-factly. (Both Pellegrino and Titus Welliver as Man In Black injected their line readings with some knowing humor that lightened the mood while making their characters even more inscrutable and unsettling.) Ricardo asked a crucial question: How come Jacob doesn't take a more active role in shepherding his spiritual reclamation projects? ''Because I want them to help themselves. To be able to tell the difference between right and wrong without me having to tell them, it's all meaningless if I have to force them to do anything! Why should I have to step in?'' Richard's reply: ''If you don't, he will.''

This answer seemed to stump Jacob. It was as if Ricardo had told him something he never considered before. If only he read more books. It's interesting to note that last week, Lost re-introduced into the narrative mix three of Sawyer's favorite books: Watership Down, A Wrinkle In Time, and Lancelot. To varying degrees, all three books deal with corrupt leaders, false messiahs, and wickedly dark spirits that rise to power when a culture lacks a strong, truthful moral agent guiding it. Take Lancelot, whose narrator fancies himself a righteous knight determined to purge the world of corruption. In truth, he's a tragically damaged, deeply disturbed potential psychopath who is locked up in a mental institution and should stay there. At the end of the book (SPOILER ALERT), he comes to a six-point conclusion about the world. Pay close attention to Number 5. ''1. We are living in Sodom. 2. I do not propose to live in Sodom or to raise my son and daughters in Sodom. 3. Either your God exists or he does not. 4. If he exists, he will not tolerate Sodom much longer. 5. If God does not exist, then it will be I not God who will not tolerate. I, one person. I will start a new world single-handedly or with those like me who will not tolerate it. [He then goes on to say his new world order will also include... genocide against the Russians and Chinese, America's main ''enemies'' during the books mid-'70s setting.] 6. I'll wait and give your God more time.''

In my Friday column, I'll explore those literary references some more, plus tell you what Doc Arzt's has to do with all of them. In the meantime, think about this: In Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle In Time, there's a young boy — supernaturally bright and powerful — who falls prey to an evil, disembodied mind known as IT. He turns out okay, and lives to save the day in other books. But in a subsequent series of books that take place many years after the events of A Wrinkle In Time and its sequels, we learn that this protagonist has gone mysteriously missing, allegedly on a secret mission. He never again appeared in L'Engle's books. This young man's shares his first name with three different characters on Lost: Charles. (Think: Charlie, Charles Widmore, and Charles, the son of Desmond and Penelope.) But L'Engle's Charles preferred to be called by the combination of his first and middle name: Charles Wallace. Wallace: the name at No. 108 on the dial in Jacob's Lighthouse. Now, last week, Charlotte Lewis made a return appearance in the show. Charlotte's father was named David Lewis. David Lewis is a famous philosopher who championed a theory of alternate/possible realities known as modal realities. Lewis' theories were pretty radical. He argued that even fictional fantasy worlds like Lost could exist somewhere within reality. Now, given the knowingly ironic Lost/Supernatural overlap represented by Mark Pellegrino, is it possible that ''Wallace'' is actually Charles Wallace from A Wrinkle In Time? Could he be the one that Hurley needed to bring to The Island? Is he locked up inside that room on Charles Widmore's sub? Or could he already be on The Island? Could he be... Jacob?

Jacob offered Ricardo a job! Moved by Ricardo's point, Jacob said: ''If I don't want to step in maybe you can do it for me. You can be my representative and my intermediary between me and the people I bring to The Island.'' Ricardo wanted compensation. He asked his wife back. Jacob: Can't do that. He asked for absolution of his sins. Jacob: Nope, can't do that either. He then asked for eternal life. His logic: Better than going to hell; and maybe I an accumulate enough penance to improve my chances at Heaven. ''Now that, I can do,'' Jacob said. And with, Jacob touched him, and the Ageless Enigma was born. Let us note two things. If Jacob really was some kind of God/Jesus figure, you'd think he would have been able to grant Ricardo's first two requests. Moreover, Jacob's rejection of Original Sin is provocative for anyone whose theory of a Christ-like Jacob has been informed by Christian theology, as many Christians do believe in Original Sin. Maybe Jacob-Jesus is trying to prove that spiritually renewed people can truly ''go and sin no more'' (John 8:11)? Perhaps The Island isn't a place where people are spiritually tested, but rather where religions are tested for relevancy and truthfulness. Jacob and Smokey are basically quality control experts — Inspectors 1 and 2 — of Fruit of the Loom holy underwear. And right now, Christianity's up.

Ricardo accepted Jacob's offer. Why not? It's a ''Somewhere Over The Rainbow'' dream come true — a sweet, secure life in The New World... minus the love of his life, of course. Ricardo went back to MIB, who knew that Jacob had turned him. But he didn't blame him much. ''He can be very persuasive,'' he said. You got the sense that MIB's current incarceration had something to do with buying into something Jacob had once sold him long ago — something that hadn't gone exactly as planned or promised. MIB reminded Ricardo that siding with Jacob meant that he could never see his wife again — as if that was truly something he could deliver. (Again, we wonder: Is the Sideways world the fulfillment of MIB's promises?) ''But I want you to know that if you ever change your mind — and I mean ever — my offer still stands.'' Ricardo gave MIB a gift from Jacob: a white stone, which I took to be nothing more than an inside joke, an ironic declaration of victory (I won Richard's soul! Nah-nah-nah!) punning off of Black Rock. (I get the sense these clever boys enjoy their almost childish cruel winks and coded banter with each other.) MIB in turn gave Ricardo Isabella's cross-necklace. I couldn't tell if MIB was taunting him or being kind with the gesture. Maybe the quiet understanding was that the token served as a talisman for summoning Smokey. Ricardo took it and then buried it...

Only to return over 140 years later to dig it back up and tried to ring up Smokey. ''Does the offer still stand?'' he bellowed. Earlier in the episode, Richard's crisis of faith spurred by the death of Jacob had been reignited by Ilana's claim that Richard was supposed to know what to do next with the candidates. Richard freaked. He had no clue. Yes, Jacob had given him the job to serve as mediator and advisor to Island visitors and assorted Others. But it now seemed that Ricardo was pretty much flying on blind faith and making up the job as he went along. But he had held onto his belief that The Island was hell, and that he was dead, and exasperated by the madness of Jacob's apparent meaninglessness, he stormed off to do what Ben was tempted to do back in ''Dr. Linus'': Switch teams and hook up with someone who offered him something like purpose and hope, even if it meant unleashing darkness upon the earth. Way to go, ''Lancelot.''

But instead of a rendezvous with the devil, Richard got Hurley instead. What followed was an extremely effective and affecting scene that flirted with trite emotional resolution but managed to work thanks to some great acting and direction. Leveraging his Ghost Whisperer secret powers, Hurley was able to facilitate a moment between the living and the dead, between Ricardo and Isabella, and translate and impart some spiritual wisdom that Richard desperately needed to hear. Put another way: Hurley and Richard basically switched roles last night, with Hurley playing Island advisor and Richard playing castaway spiritual seeker. Isabella asked Ricardo why he had buried her cross — her soul; her love; his compass. It was a gentle indictment of Ricardo's misplaced values — of finding treasure in the material, not spiritual, in what he can hold in the moment, not carry forever in his heart. Isabella then praised his English — English, the language they were learning together; the language they had learned form the Bible they read, together; the language of the new world they wanted to be recreated into, together. ''Tell him his English is beautiful,'' Isabella asked Hurley. He did. Gotta admit: Kinda choked up there.

Ricardo/Richard had not been able to see or hear Isabella for most of her spectral visit. But at the end, with eyes closed, Ricardo heard her voice, and in her words, he heard what he wanted to hear from the priest several lifetimes earlier: absolution. ''It wasn't your fault that I died, Ricardo,'' Isabella said through Hurley. But the rest Ricardo either heard or felt: ''As much as you wanted to save me, it was my time. You've suffered enough.'' He replied: ''I've missed you. I would do anything for us to be together again.'' She said, ''My love. We are already together.'' Translation: It's what Michael Landon said in that Little House on the Prairie clip from last week: It's about ''knowin' that people aren't really gone when they die. We have all the good memories to sustain us until we see 'em again.'' Alpert's real life namesake, Hindu guru Richard Alpert/Ram Dass, advocates the idea that everything is suffused spirit. With an assist from Hurley, Ricardo/Richard finally earned the eyes to see that, and to recognize that we can let go of Hell and move into Heaven whenever we want. What Ricardo/Richard got was huge whollop of ''Amazing Grace,'' the hymn written by a former slaver during a harrowing night at sea: ''Amazing grace/how sweet the sound/that saved a wretch like me/I once was lost/but now am found/was blind but now I see.''

Over the last several weeks, I've been pushing this idea — inspired by those darn Last Supper images — that Lost 6.0 was being modeled upon Jesus' Thursday-to-Sunday Passion weekend. That's now unlikely, since last night's episode represented the third day of Jesus' trip to hell and back — Easter Sunday. But we did get a story that thematically symbolized resurrection and the restoration of relationship between mankind and the divine. Hence the setting of the episode's climax: a Garden of Eden motif, complete with a proverbial Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil — Ground Zero for the big bang's humanity's fall from grace. Ricardo was saved. (Yay!) But then came his Great Commission. (Groan!) Richard's Island mission: Keep the Man In Black from popping that cork or cracking open the bottle and getting out. Interesting, though, that Richard wasn't told he had to try to kill the Man In Black. At least nobody is asking him to play Sayid the Assassin. Still, how can Richard succeed? Did he learn something from this spiritual journey that could help him? Something about love? Something about sacrifice? In many of the mythic stories Lost cites, including A Wrinkle In Time, pure, sincere love makes a difference. Oh, and a good magical sword, too.

on MIB being ''bad'' and Jacob being ''good.'' Neither sold me as wholly trustworthy last night — which is fitting. My other big theory of late has been that each episode of Lost this year has been linked to one of The Ten Commandments. This was the 9th hour, so we should have gotten the 9th Commandment, and we did: Do not bare false witness against your neighbor. Translation: Don't lie; don't break a promise. I'm willing to cede that Jacob did right by Richard, fulfilling his promise of giving him purpose and clarity over the course of the episode. But I'm not sure he was telling us the truth about his wine bottle. I accept The Cork. The Cork makes sense. But I wonder if Jacob is wrong about the wine. I get the sense that Jacob isn't keen on death. His only super-power is the one that Satan has: Fall into his clutches, and he gets to keep you forever. I'm not saying he's evil. But I am saying that in so many heroic stories, the real, necessary reality of death is often mistaken for evil. So what if the wine in Jacob's bottle = all the souls that have come to The Island and lost the wager with Smokey? What if all those souls are trapped on The Island because Jacob refuses to let them go? In fact, what if the terms of the wager are akin to one of those Old Testament bets that God would make with his prophets, whereby a while wicked city can be saved if one ''good soul'' can be found? Maybe Jacob has been holding onto all those souls who've lost the wager because he's holding out to find that one good man that can give them all a second chance at life? And maybe Smokey thinks that's fundamentally wrong or unnatural, which is why he's so desperate to just end this whole damn redemption game, so everyone can move on to whatever afterlife they deserve — including himself. Breaking the bottle doesn't release a toxic cloud of evil — it just sets the prisoners of Jacob's purgatory free. Namaste!?
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20313460_20354159,00.html?ew_packageID=20313460?xid=email-alert-lost-20100324-item1

Room 23 Lottery Contest

As a thank you to all of the supporters of Room 23 and of my products in the Room 23 Store I created a contest page. The first Contest is for a Starter Set of my Lost Trading Cards. Go to the Lottery Page and add your name and E-Mail in the Comments.

http://room23lottery.blogspot.com/

Lost's Michael Emerson Injured During Filming

Tue., Mar. 23, 2010 1:15 PM PDT by Marc Malkin

Michael Emerson gets beat up a lot playing Ben Linus on Lost.

So much so that when friends recently saw the Emmy winner sporting a major bruise in Hawaii, they thought it was fake and possibly just some leftover makeup from a day of shooting.

But, no, it was real. What happened? Read on for the painful details.

"He has a huge shiner on his right eye!" a source reports. "Apparently, he has a fight scene and the choreography when slightly awry. One of his costars actually connected with Michael's face and gave him a huge black eye."

You'd think the real-life injury would be incorporated into the Lost storyline, but our source said, "Michael joked that the makeup department now has to hide his black eye every day instead of creating one."
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/marc_malkin/b173023_losts_michael_emerson_injured_during.html

"Recon" Poll Results

What did you think of "Recon"?

As AWESOME as Miles and Sawyer's Cop Partnership 7 (33%)

As GREAT as an episode of "Little House on the Prairie" 5 (23%)

OK 7 (33%)

BAD, I felt Conned out of an hour of my life. 2 (9%)

So HORRIBLE it smelled like a pile of dead Ajira pasengers 0 (0%)

Votes so far: 21


What were your favorate things about "Recon"

Sawyer's Bust 4 (25%)

Sawyer & Miles as LAPD Cops 7 (43%)

Seeing Charlotte Staples Lewis again 5 (31%)

Seeing Liam Pace again 3 (18%)

Watershipdown cameo 4 (25%)

Miles "Die alone" comment 5 (31%)

Sawyer visiting the Polarbear cages again 5 (31%)

Zoe 1 (6%)

Widmore's men jumping out at Sawyer 0 (0%)

Sawyer visiting Widmore on the Sub 5 (31%)

MIB's story about his "Crazy Mother" 10 (62%)

Sawyer revealing that he's setting MIB and Widmore against each other. 6 (37%)

Claire attacking Kate 3 (18%)

Votes so far: 16


Whats in the locked door in the Sub?

A weapon for use on MIB 5 (33%)

MIB's crazy Mother 0 (0%)

Walt 0 (0%)

Desmond 6 (40%)

Aaron and Ji Yeon 0 (0%)

Anthony Cooper 0 (0%)

Annie 0 (0%)

A white bunny with an 8 marked on it 0 (0%)

Something/one else 4 (26%)

Votes so far: 15


Who was MIB/Locke refering to when he told Kate about his "Crazy Mother"?

His own Mother 5 (38%)

Locke's Mother because he's starting to confuse his own memories with Locke's since Locke is becoming part of him 2 (15%)

MIB using Locke's history to lie to Kate 6 (46%)

Votes so far: 13


Who killed the Ajira Passengers?

MIB/Smokey 6 (54%)

Widmore's Men 3 (27%)

Someone else 2 (18%)

Votes so far: 11

Tail Section Artwork for 6.9

I'M ON A TREE!

'Lost' star surprised by fans' grief

By BILL HARRIS, QMI Agency

Last Updated: March 18, 2010 1:46pm

Sawyer (Josh Holloway, left) and Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) in one of Lost's heartbreaking death scenes. LOS ANGELES — Elizabeth Mitchell said she was shocked by the outpouring of grief from fans when her character on Lost was killed earlier this season.

“That was surprising,” said Mitchell, who played Juliet. “I never thought Juliet was particularly likable, so I was surprised that people were sad that she died.”

Mitchell has gone on to star in V, which returns with a new episode March 30 on ABC and A. Lost, meanwhile, is in the middle of its sixth and final season on ABC and CTV.

In Lost, of course, death is a relative thing. Mitchell is returning to the show in some form, and she said she was due to receive the series-finale script some time this week.

When asked if Juliet and Sawyer (played by Josh Holloway) might be living together happily in Lost’s alternate universe, Mitchell said, “I love to think that.”

Mitchell chuckled when considering that Juliet kind of died twice. She fell down a well in the finale of Season 5, and was presumed dead, but then she was still breathing for a short time in the first episode of Season 6, just long enough to die in Sawyer’s arms.

“I had somebody say to me, ‘Like, really? I already cried!’ ” Mitchell said with a laugh. “And I was like, ‘Well, we didn’t ask you to cry again! I didn’t write it! They just asked me to come back and I said yes!’

“So maybe a little overkill on that one.”
http://www.torontosun.com/entertainment/tv/2010/03/18/13277856.html

'Lost' Releasing Character Music Videos

March 18, 2010 02:56:23 GMT

The first one is dedicated to Ben and more which are set to different recording artists will come.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ABC has announced that it will release a music video in tribute of "Lost" characters one by one. The first one has already been put on the network's official site, highlighting on Michael Emerson's Ben and aptly utilizing Michael Jackson's song "Ben".

The music videos are made in celebration of the sixth and final season. Beside putting a character in spotlight, the video will also contain footage from this season. To follow Ben's video are that of Sawyer, Richard Alpert, Sun & Jin, Desmond, Hurley, Kate, Jack, Sayid and Locke. They will be released each week on ABC.com.

"Lost" is airing every Tuesdays at 9/8c. There are eight episodes left before the show reaches its conclusion. Next week's episode will be Richard-centric and through the character, some of the island's mysteries will be unveiled.
http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00031354.html

Doc Jensen: 'Lost' recap: Working the Angles

This Sawyer-centric episode gets us set up for the action to come next, while possibly giving some insight into Fake Locke
By Jeff Jensen Mar 17, 2010

When Lost fans speak of ''set-up'' episodes, they're usually trying to be kind about an hour wherein nothing really happened besides moving characters emotionally and placing them geographically so they are primed and positioned for more eventful episodes to come. This wasn't that kind of set-up episode, even though it often played the part. While Queen Ilana’s beach crew cooled their heels off screen, King Crock Locke shepherded his freaked-out flock of ex-Others across The Island, first to Crazy Claire’s cozy-creepy Little Yoda Hut on the Prairie, then to Banyan Tree Creek. At one point, we got a shot where ''The Smoke-Thing'' practically played traffic cop, motioning his herd along the path like a flight attendant directing passengers off a plane after an emergency landing. (In a deleted scene, Cindy noted his technique, tried to correct him, and then got slapped silly for being ''inappropriate.'') Along the way, Locke Ness Monster diverted Secret Agent Sawyer to Hydra Island to smoke out insurgents among the Ajira passengers. Instead, Dharma's former security chief and de facto sheriff made the acquaintance of the smaller island's new regent, exiled uber-Other Charles Widmore — a little Elba for the Island's deposed Napoleon. Sawyer returned to Smokey with intel (Widmore's got goons, guns, and sonic fences) and new mysteries. (What — or who — is locked up in the submarine? Who slaughtered the Ajira 316 redshirts?) He also came back with a plan to get himself, Kate, and presumably Jin and Sun off the Island. Kate wondered: But who's going to fly the airplane? Silly rabbit! Don't you know Sawyer is all about the Watership Down? In short, ''Recon'' told us where almost everyone in the saga currently stands (and sits) in advance of significant action.

And yet, like a certain red-headed archaeologist who found great booty while digging through James Ford's sock drawer, I found much to treasure and ogle within ''Recon.'' I was riveted by the return of Sawyer to the narrative mainstage and loved the trickster, long-con storytelling; every line seemed to be possessed with double meanings, every scene seemed to be pregnant with possibilities. Emphasis on possessed. And pregnant. (I'll explain as we go.) The first line of the episode came from Island Sawyer as he burned himself on a coffee pot: ''Son of a bitch!'' Of course, those were Juliet's final words before detonating Jughead. Juliet's name was never spoken in the episode, but she haunted the proceedings via association, as did several other dead friends, including hobbity dope fiend Charlie Pace and especially fate-screwed whiz kid Daniel Faraday. In fact, I was reminded of Eloise Hawking and her snake-eating-its-tail ouroboros broach when Sideways James issued the last line of his L.A. Confidential arc as he pinned fugitive Hoodie Kate against a fence: ''Son of a bitch!'' ''Recon'' spiraled through space and time and passed through metaphorical realms of limbo and worse to tell a story about Sawyer choosing to let go of the hell in his heart and replacing it with a dream of heaven.

This ''set-up'' episode was all about set-ups, from its opening sequence fake-out that seemed to present Sideways James Ford as every bit the slutty, soul-numbed vengeance-questing criminal as his Island iteration, but then revealed himself to be a… slutty, soul-numbed vengeance-questing cop. No doubt the happy sunflower glory days of his previous life as Dharma Initiative security chief had prepared him for the gig. But alas, there was no Juliet in this sad sunflower's life, and we were made to ponder if that made all the difference. His partner seemed to think so. Miles! Detective Miles Straume, who tried to fill Jim's lonely void by setting his buddy up with a blast from Lost's freighter-folk past, Sideways Charlotte Lewis. (Apparently, no matter the world, Miles will always end up wearing a badge with Sawyer.)

In the Island world, Fake Locke scrambled to manage the suspicious and impatient personalities within his Island escape club with what seemed to me to be an interconnecting series of short cons. Strategy? I think Smokey sent Sawyer to the Widmore Zooropa — in part — to get Kate's guardian angel out of his no-hair so he could isolate her for a Claire attack, then save her from it, so he could get a chance to spin her under this thumb. His preferred tactic seems to be the very thing that Sideways James struggled to embrace in his story: emotional intimacy. UnLocke tried to bond with Kate by unlocking a little bit of himself — cryptic tidbits about his background, like semi-redacted details from his dubious dossier of his life. Who's his bad mom? What were those ''growing pains''? Smoke-Thing, who the hell are you? Cain? Abel? Are you the evil demiurge Yaldabaoth or are you the Gnostic spirit Eve-Zoe? Are you the fulfillment of my Evil Aaron theory? My benevolent Swamp-Thing theory? Or are you Hamlet? Norman Bates? Or Stephen King's Carrie? Whoooooo are you, Smokey? Who-hoo? Who-hoo? Because I REALLYWANNAKNOW…

And you know what, kids? I think I do know. Because it seemed to me that Fake Locke was pulling another con, too, one that may have revealed his true character. The episode was called ''Recon,'' which itself was a con. We were clearly supposed to assume it was short for ''reconnaissance mission.'' But ''Recon'' was also a pun for ''Re-con'' — as in ''a previously executed con, done again.'' The story flicked at all of Sawyer's classic con man stories, from ''Confidence Man'' to ''LaFleur.'' I think FrankenLocke picked one of those scams to repeat anew — and I think I'm pretty creeped out by the implications.

The Sideways World
Souvenir of Hell

This prison has now become your home
A sentence you seem prepared to pay
It took a day to build the city
As I returned across the lands I'd known
I recognized the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid

And if I built this fortress around your heart
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire
Then let me build a bridge
For I cannot fill the chasm
And let me set the battlements on fire

—Sting, ''Fortress Around You Heart''

The name was Ford. James Ford. And only James Ford. Never Sawyer: Sideways Jim could never take the handle of the man of who destroyed his family and took away his childhood. That was one difference between Sideways James and Island Sawyer. Here was another: Detective James Ford was a horrible con man. Everyone could spot his tells. Everyone could see through his Steve McQueen cool. The grifter chick in the motel. Charlotte ''Indiana Jones'' Lewis. His partner, Miles Straume. We didn't want him to have the tragic past of his Island counterpart. We didn't want him to have the dark heart that his childhood horror show had sired. But alas, he did. He was a cop in name only. His badge, a mere means to an end. His mission was two-fold: Find the Monster. Kill him. And yet, by story's end, we were left to wonder if James would really do the deed if he got the chance. Just nurturing this hate had come at a cost. He could share his body with a woman, but not his soul. And in the eyes of his partner — his friend — he was fundamentally untrustworthy. When he got his Sideways storyline mirror scene, Ford punched the loathsome face staring back at him. What he wants is to be free and to be known, to be loved and to love — to be James LeFleur, Dharma security honcho and kick-ass Juliet boyfriend. Last week, Benjamin Linus went rummaging through Island Sawyer's tent/library and found a text by Benjamin Disraeli called ''Justice is Truth In Action.'' I prefer this other Disraeli quote for Sideways Sawyer: ''Circumstances are beyond human control, but our conduct is in our own power.'' Now there's a motto worthy of a dollar bill.

Regardless, my guess is that Sideways Ford will get a chance to prove his moral metal when he finally tracks down Sideways Anthony Cooper at… Sideways John Locke's wedding.

I've enjoyed almost all the Sideways stories so far this season, and I've had fun deconstructing them to bits in this space each week. But thinking through ''Recon,'' I realized that looking at the forest was more valuable than examining the trees. This was a story about an authority figure — a lawman — who was working the system and abusing his position with it to pursue a self-serving, possibly evil agenda. I hope that sounds like the Man In Black to you, because it sure does to me. Until the events of ''The Incident,'' what role did he serve on the Island? Rousseau: ''Security system.'' Eko and Ben: Judge. FUN FACT! The Book of Judges in the Bible describes the series of ''Judges'' that God would appoint and task with bringing the stray sheep of Israel back into spiritual relationship with God, only to themselves fall prey to temptation and corruption and need to be removed from power and replaced. Case in point: Samson. The Book of Judges culminates with combined forces of Israel, led by the tribe of Dan, warring with the tribe of Benjamin. Ben loses. Uh-oh.

Of course, if I'm correct about the forest, than the trees become more interesting. Like Detective Ford's botched ''Pigeon Drop'' sting, when Ford told the grifter woman that the cops wanted her husband, not her. The woman was a dead ringer for Charlotte Lewis, who during her brief time on Lost was romantically linked with… Daniel Faraday. Then there was time on the clock: 8:42. Back in ''The Substitute,'' we learned that 8 = Hurley Reyes and 42 = Kwon, which could either be Jin or Sun. Interesting that as of last night's episode, Hurley and the Kwons were the only Jacob candidates who have not gotten a Sideways episode yet. BTW: Jin is the only husband on the show — even if his wedding ring is currently in Sun's pocket.


PROJECT FOR NEXT WEEK'S DOC JENSEN! Review all the Sideways stories. Can they be viewed as allegories for Smokey? In my Doc Jensen columns yesterday, I examined how Lost has been fixated with the themes of divorce and children this season, in addition to mirrors and shackles. Can these things, too, be applied to Smokey? Something to consider next week — and something I'm going to factor into my blockbuster theory that closes this column.

But we have miles to go first. I mean Miles Straume, who said some curious things himself in this episode. Did you catch that he has a girlfriend? Didn't say her name. Could it be... Juliet? He also said his father (Dharma film narrator Dr. Pierre Chang) worked ''at the museum'' with Charlotte. (Is Miles pals with Frank Lapidus and Faraday, too?) Too bad things ended so poorly between James and Charlotte: We could have gotten a future episode where he visited her at work and listened to Dr. Chang explain what happened to the Island. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Miles set James up with Charlotte. The chemistry worked for me, but it was still hard watching him have sexytime with anyone else but You-Know-Who, with the slight exception of You-Know-Who-2. This was surely intentional; the show wanted us to be feeling: This isn't right. This should be Juliet... although I will also accept Kate. We were nostalgic for love(s) that this James had never had — and you got the sense that James felt the same way, too. Like he was profoundly incomplete without a better half.

Their conversation was loaded. James' perception of archaeology: People ''stuck in a room somewhere, dusting off antiques.'' (We saw a locked room later in the episode in Widmore's submarine. Who could be inside?) The couple bantered about Indiana Jones. Some quick thoughts about each of the four Indy movies. Raiders of the Lost Ark: The 10 Commandments. (More later on this.) Temple of Doom: Kidnapped kids turned to slaves. (Ditto) The Last Crusade: Holy Grail; troubled, neglected father-son relationship. (Ditto) Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Troubled father-son relationship — plus interdimensional alien archaeologists with psychic powers that promise a ''gift'' of All The Answers You've Ever Wanted To Know About Everything, but then rudely blow out the villain's brain and disappear. In other words: what the producers of Lost are planning to do at exactly 11:01 PM on May 23.

They flirted about the whip. Sawyer tried to convince her he became a cop because of Bullitt. Charlotte said: More like bulls---. She didn't want the lines he gave all his other conquests. She wanted to see his heart. Sawyer gave her a peek. ''There was a moment in my life where I was either going to become a criminal or a cop,'' he said. ''So I chose a cop.'' One wonders if he might have chosen differently if a strange though saintly man showed up at his parents' funeral and offered him a touch and a pen ''Dear Sawyer'' letters... unless, of course, James' whole Sideways world exists because of that touch and pen. FUN FACT! Bullitt is a cop drama/mystery in which SPOILER ALERT! it's revealed that the bad guy, a mobster, has faked his death and disguised himself to avoid certain judgment by the courts. The film starred Steve McQueen, who also headlined The Blob, Hell Is For Heroes and Love with the Proper Stranger.

As they said on the show, ''you know what happens next.'' But in case you don't speak innuendo: hot stranger sex! Afterward, Sawyer fetched refreshment, while Charlotte searched for a T-shirt. Clever Lost. Charlotte: archeologist. What do archaeologists do? Dig up the past. What does Indiana Jonesette find buried in Ford's sock drawer? The ruins of past. The ''Sawyer'' folder, plus the wrinkled family photo. Together, a complex symbol of... the Law, broken justice, judgment/vengeance (Raiders); stolen childhood (Temple of Doom); a dark knight grail quest (The Last Crusade); a dream of family reunion that violence and ''answers'' will never fulfill (Crystal Skull). We've seen Charlotte dig one other time on Lost — the season 4 episode ''Confirmed Dead,'' in which she found a polar bear skeleton and a Hydra Station collar in the sands of Tunisia. And what happened later in ''Recon''? Island Sawyer went to Hydra Island, returned to the polar bear cage where he had been held captive, found Kate's dress, and recalled their intimacy — a pivotal turning point in his heroic journey on Lost.

Alas, Charlotte chose... poooorly in flipping through James' dossier of doom. He blew up at her. ''What did you see? What did you see?!'' Interesting choice of words in an episode wherein what was seen and unseen, what was shown and concealed, were important themes. James drove her away. The photo fell to the ground. A father. A mother. A son. Where have we seen that before?

The next day. James went to work and bumped into — of all people — Charlie's brother. Sideways Charlie had been busted for drugs following his OD on Sideways Oceanic 815; Liam was there to get more info and maybe bail him out. Perhaps Lost was telling us it had not forgotten this plot point; perhaps Lost was trying to set us up for the Charlie-evoking ending; maybe Lost was trying to underscore themes of brotherhood, relational and moral division. TBD. This led to the scene where Miles dumped James as his partner because he had lied about going down under. (Miles' paranoid credit check struck me as... well, paranoid. Not sure I bought it.) James sulked by eating microwave dinners and watching Little House on the Prairie. An inspired, perfect choice for a guy who, like the tragic hero of his favorite novel, Of Mice and Men, dreams doomed dreams of home and hearth and living off the fat of the land with family and friends. In the scene, Charles Ingalls tries to assuage his daughter's mortality angst with some Highway To Heaven touchy-feelies:

''You can spend your whole life worrying about what's going to happen. People aren't really gone when they die, because they live in memories. Memories that sustain us until we see them again.''

James was moved off the couch by Pa's words. I don't know if he was trying to escape the existential agita they produced or if they inspired him to some carpe diem. Either way, it led him to Charlotte's door for a late night booty call. She mocked his ''sad sunflower'' and told him to get lost. This seemed to take him aback — or perhaps startle him awake. He had lost his partner. Now, he had lost his mojo with women. No more charmed life magic-word salvation. No more sexual escapism. No more ''La Fleur.'' He put the flower down on her doorstep — a plea for forgiveness; a RIP gesture to his old self — and took a leap of faith: he sought out Miles and entrusted him with secret. He gave him his Sawyer folder. He told him he'd been hunting Cooper since he got out of the Academy and confessed his pain and corruption. Sawyer's vendetta was not unlike the dream of vengeance Fake Locke gave Claire: it was something that held his world together, gave it meaning, gave him purpose. Also see: the long con that Sawyer pulled in ''The Long Con'': creating a false nemesis to rally a community to order. Ford's epiphany: that's living in fear; that's living a lie, not real life. I think he was also afraid he'd lose his soul if he went through with the murders — and lose any chance of seeing his family again. Hence, when Miles asked him why he was confessing to him. Sawyer replied: ''Because I knew you'd try to talk me out of it.''

Perhaps Charlotte Staples Lewis' literary namesake, CS Lewis, sums up Ford's Sideways arc the best. From The Great Divorce: ''I do not think that all those who choose wrong roads perish; but their rescue consists of being put back on the right road. A sum can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot ‘develop' into good. Time does not heal it. The spell must be unwound, bit-by-bit, with ‘backwards mutters of dissevering power' — or else not. It is still ‘either-or.' If we insist on keeping Hell (or even Earth), we shall not see Heaven: if we accept Heaven we shall not be able to retain the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of Hell.''

By giving up his Sawyer file — his souvenir of hell — to his partner-confessor-priest Miles, James seemed to put himself on a highway to heaven. He also seemed to put him on a collision course with destiny. At that moment, Hoodie Kate careened into his car. He ran her down and pinned her up against a gate, an ironic reversal of their caged-heat Hydra lovemaking. No matter what world he's in, James Ford is always getting set up with Kate — and always gets one chance to nail her against some bars. Somehow. Son of a bitch.

Kate's hoodie was conspicuous. In the episode ''The Long Con,'' the big twist — SPOILER ALERT! — was that Charlie had assisted Sawyer in his fake-crisis, fear-cultivating, gun-grabbing power coup. Charlie, wearing a hoodie, revealed that the only reason why he partnered with Sawyer was to humiliate Locke, who had humiliated him episodes earlier. Fittingly, ''Recon'' re-teamed redeemed outlaw lovers Sawyer and Kate (now playing the Charlie role) in a bid to subvert Fake Locke and Nautilus away from the Island. They better hurry. As it happens, I think there was another reading of Little House on The Prairie we were meant to find. Did you know that there was a two-part episode of Prairie called ''The Lost Ones''? In those episodes, two siblings watch their parents die in a horrible accident. Now orphans, they yearn to stay with Charles, but he can't afford them. The kids wind up with a man who says he'll protect them... but he winds up abusing them and using them as slaves. Which brings us to...

This Island Earth!
Infernal Affairs

Looking for to save my save my soul
Looking in the places where no flowers grow
Looking for to fill that God shaped hole
—U2

Don't be angry, don't be sad,
Don't sit cryin' over good things you've had,
There's a girl right next to you
And she's just waiting for something you do.
Well, there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love
Love the one you're with
—Stephen Stills

My theory that the 18 hours of Lost 6.0 are analogous to the long weekend of Jesus Christ's crucifixion and resurrection is holding. ''Recon'' — which took place the day after ''Sundown''/Good Friday — conformed to the part of the Easter story known as The Harrowing of Hell, wherein Christ descended into the underworld. Some traditions say Jesus confronted Satan; others say he liberated captives, especially prophets, leaders, and ''holy fathers'' of the faith whom God had exiled to Hades because of Original Sin. The word ''harrowing'' comes from a Greek word pertaining to a military mission — you know, like a ''recon.'' The ''Hydra'' in Hydra Island pertains to a six-headed female snake demon that guards the entrance of Hades. And what did we spy on Hydra Island last night? Cages. Dead people. And the former ''holy father''/chief prophet/leader of The Others, the exiled Charles Widmore.

Sawyer's hellacious odyssey to hell and back began inside something that passed for a tomb: The Grim Garden Grotto of Claire Gone Mad. There, Sawyer played nurse to wounded Jin, who winced as they waited for Crazy Rabbi Locke to come back from Temple. Jin said that FLocke was nuts and they had to scram. Sawyer said he was aligned with FLocke but vowed to get both Jin and Sun off the Island. And with that, Sawyer's ''every man for himself'' pity party/selfishness began to crumble. But speaking of hobbled Jin... FUN FACT! The legend of the Fisher King — the guardian of the Holy Grail, or enchanted spring — holds that there are two custodians at any one time. There is a king, and there is a knight. Sometimes they are father and son. For some reason, the natural order of things requires the Fisher King to have an infirmity that makes him incapable of moving. He has an injury to his leg, foot, or groin. The job of the Grail Knight is to heal the Fisher King. But alas, Grail Knights are known to get distracted by selfishness or missions of vengeance and neglect their duty to the Fisher King. When this happens, the kingdom becomes infertile. No flowers; no babies. Oh, and the abode where the king and knight live pops in and out of reality, at different times and places. One more thing? The Fisher King is called the Fisher King because he fishes. A lot. Mostly to pass the boring-ass time guarding the grail. THEORY! Jacob was the Fisher King. Smokey was his knight. Smokey became disenchanted, neglected his duties, wanted out, conspired to kill the Fisher King to earn that freedom.

Fake Locke brought his Temple exodus to Claire's hovel. Have FLocke and Claire been living together? If so, what's been the sleeping arrangement? If so... ewwww! FLocke gave a short speech, trying to assuage anxieties and terror of... well, himself. He squatted so he could look the kids Alex and Emma in the eye. ''I know what happened back there was really scary,'' he said, referring to the Temple massacre. ''But it's over, and I promise I'm going to take care of you.'' I thought: Uh-oh. I then thought: Little House, ''The Lost Ones.'' And then I remembered something else — another occasion when a castaway got eye-to-eye with a child and promised that he wasn't a bogeyman and he'd do anything in his power to change the tragic destiny that awaited her. I speak of the moment when Daniel Faraday returned from Dharma HQ in Ann Arbor, Michigan, following a prolonged absence and initiated Project: Jughead, but not before making those outrageous promises to Charlotte.

Before beginning FLocke's (death?) march across the Island, Claire said a tender goodbye to her sick substitute for her creepy kid, that weird skeletal whatchamacallit that she kept in a crib. The Abominable Faux Baby — skull, button eyes, stuffed animal fur — totally looked to me like the infant version of Frank the Apocalyptic Bunny Suit Monster from Donnie Darko. (Those who know Donnie Darko well have seen many Lost parallels in the movie, i.e. plane crash, time travel, and alt reality interpretations; we shall investigate at another time.) Kate stepped inside Claire's mad world. She saw Claire's creepy fake creepy kid. Her eyeballs barfed. Kate: ''What is that?'' All-kinds-of-wrong Claire looked at Kate with eyes full of tears and fears. ''It was all I had,'' she said. Chilling. Sad. And if you asked me to compile a list of my 20 most favorite scenes in Lost ever, this would be on there.

I'd also use Abominable Faux Bunny as one more proof that Fake Locke really is some kind rotten apple, because he surely must have indulged this f'd up fantasy. I appeal again to The Great Divorce, which gives us a scene where a mother is denied entrance into heaven because she has no desire for God or truthful living. For her, belief in ''God'' is just the means to an end — to be reunited with her young son, who had died 10 years before. Her idolatrous relationship to the memory of her boy is such that she never packed away his old room and refused to move out of the house, despite the wishes of her husband and daughter. She is told that her morbid fixations are ''the wrong way to deal with sorrow.'' The mother snaps: ''You are heartless. Everyone is pitiless. The past was all I had.'' This is why the Anti-Locke is the Anti-Christ: He keeps the castaways shackled to the past, to their demons, to their infernal affairs; he's using the castaways as means to an end. And worst of all: it appears he sincerely thinks he's doing right by them.

But at least he's being polite about it. Smokey demonstrated himself to be a stickler for manners, demanding tact from his followers but showering them courtesies, empathy, and apologies as needed. As the Monster mushed his lemmings across the Island toward a multi-night stay at Banyan Tree Cove, Sawyer dared to quiz him publicly about his intentions. When and how are we leaving this damn rock!? A flustered FLocke asked Sawyer for a sidebar conversation away from the Others and chastised him. When Sawyer said he was sorry (quite sarcastically), FLocke actually accepted the apology. Later, when Claire tried to kill Kate, FLocke sincerely apologized for her behavior and took responsibility for it. I love this Monster, whose ethics condone mass murder and deicide but require that people follow Robert's Rules of Order in his presence! And please: no name-calling, either!

In his ''private'' talk with Sawyer, FLocke had another one of those moments where his eyes shifted nervously about, as if trying to figure out what half-truth or lie or button-pushing blah blah blah to say next... except this week, thanks to the shading of the Sawyer content, I was made to wonder if FLocke's uncertainty was really all about not knowing if he can trust these people with his true self. He rolled the dice with Sawyer. He said he was the Smoke-Thing. He said he killed the Temple loyalists because they viewed him as a threat. He said it was kill or be killed. ''And I don't want to be killed!'' There was something so earnest and plaintive and even childlike about FLocke's declaration. It was certainly a sentiment Sawyer could sympathize/empathize with, and so we must wonder if that's exactly why the Monster said it. But it also sounded to me like the pained bleating of someone we all know who tried very, very hard not to get killed, and failed. Or did he?

When Sawyer continued to press Smokey for details on the escape plan, FLocke decided to give his prickly irritant something to do. He told him to go to Hydra Island. He told him there were some enemies in the Ajira camp. He told him to smoke out the baddies, and he told him that he had total faith in him because Sawyer was ''the best liar he had ever seen.'' Sawyer looked stung. Despite the undercover life of his Dharma days, Sawyer the Con Man was a guise he had retired years ago, thanks to Juliet. Not that he would try putting it back on, anyway. When FLocke brought him to the beach and showed him the panoramic view of Hydra Island, I wondered if Sawyer was recalling the humiliation he endured during the season 3 episode ''Every Man For Himself,'' when he was made to learn during his Hydra incarceration that that the folks who run the Island were superior tricksters than himself. He knew he didn't have a chance of fooling FLocke with a con. So he decided to execute his task in a manner that defied UnLocke's view of him: he told the truth almost every step of the way.

Almost immediately upon arriving on Hydra Island, Sawyer found himself at the polar bear cages where he had once dined on fish biscuits, received a brutal beat down by Ben, and got busy with Kate. The sight of the cages knotted his guts. He found Kate's dress — the one that Ben made her wear to breakfast with him on the beach. Sawyer picked up the dress. He felt the dress. Memories surely must have flooded his mind. What did this moment mean for Sawyer? The pessimist might say: heartbreak, pain, despair, damnation. The optimist might say: renewal; resurrection; reconstitution. The affair of the polar bear cage was a turning point for Sawyer. This wasn't miserable-con-man sex. This was heart-full-of-love sex! Maybe it didn't mean much to Kate. But it definitely meant something to him. He loved her. He wanted her to love him. He chased after her. She would never have said ''I do.'' Still, he sacrificed himself for her, and when he thought she had died, he was heartbroken... but he grieved the loss, thanks to some help from John Locke, and after watching her help Claire give birth to Aaron during one of his time flashes, Sawyer let go of her, without letting go of what he gained. He recognized he needed someone — someone who would love him, and better, someone that he could love. He found that someone in Juliet. They were never formally married, but they lived like it, happy and content in the same Dharmaville home that he had once wanted to make with Kate. But then Juliet was taken away from him, and Sawyer became a man destroyed. Abandoned, he convinced himself he was meant to be alone. Enter FLocke, the King of Pain, the exploiter of sadness, who took advantage and recruited him to his fold. Several weeks ago, I insisted that Sawyer was the one playing FLocke, not the other way around. If that wasn't true then, it was true now. Standing in his old cage, Sawyer recalled the moment everything began to change for him — the moment when he began to change, into a lover, a hero, and even if he never wore the ring, a husband. He remembered his redemption. He remembered a vision of heaven to guide him out of hell. He continued on to...

The plane, slightly jackknifed off the make-shift runway, resembling a proud, gleaming Pegasus waiting to be mounted and flown away. (Frank Lapidus! Paging Frank Lapidus! Your purpose in the season 6 narrative just arrived!) Then, the Hydraville Massacre. Sawyer followed a swath of trail formed by the drag of dead bodies to a pile of corpses hidden in the underbrush. Insects swarmed. He gagged, nauseated. Who killed these people? My chief suspect is Smokey. He's demonstrated a proclivity for mass murder; see: the Temple. His motive? Among many options, including some kind of vampiric binge on human souls for some kind of demonic power-boost? I think Smokey killed these folks just so Sawyer would find them. Just like Ben wanted Jack to watch Kate and Sawyer hump in the cage to break and control him, I think Smokey wanted Sawyer to see the pile of death to better manage the threat Sawyer represents. The message Smokey was trying to impart: Don't f--- with me. You know Kate? You know your friends? You know all those people I took out of the Temple, including those little kids? I'll kill ‘em. Especially the kids. I'll kill ‘em all if you get in my way. And we are reminded: Thou shall not steal. And we remember why bad men kidnap kids: extortion.

If I had my druthers, this is where I'd give you another 1,000 words about how (Dead Bodies + Flies) X (Graven Idols + False Messiah thematics) = Lord of the Flies by William Golding, a frequent Lost reference, in which rival camps of kids go savage, and the false god they have made out of a pig's head, the Lord of the Flies, rules them all like a golden calf. Amid those 1,000 words, I would pose this question: Who's the real ''Lord of the Flies'' on Lost? Smokey? Charles Widmore? Jacob? I would probably conclude by settling upon Smokey, but then hit you with this twist ending: I would say that Lost's fixation with Lord of the Flies is actually a coded reference to the play The Flies by Jean Paul Sartre, an ironic retelling of an old Greek myth suffused with the writer's existentialist philosophy (see: Nausea; Being and Nothingness; No Exit), in which a human hero takes it upon himself to restore mankind's free will and liberate people from the tyranny of malicious gods and the fallacy of original sin, which Sartre symbolized in the form of flies. Maybe next week.

Sawyer heard rustling in the bushes and found a woman named Zoe hiding in the brush. She claimed to be an Ajira survivor. Zoe, Greek for ''life,'' was played by Sheila Kelly, whose most famous credit was L.A. Law. Perhaps Sideways Sawyer would have been seduced by her charms, but not Island Sawyer. She asked too many questions. And Sawyer answered all of them truthfully, until she asked about the guns. He smelled a con — or maybe he remembered ''The Long Con.'' He called her bluff. The lady whistled. Goons appeared, and Sawyer was beaten. ''Is your name really even Zoe?'' he asked. She replied, ''Is your name really Sawyer?'' The answer is no. In a story that was all about reminding James Ford who he really was, the answer should have been: ''LaFleur. James LaFleur.''

Sawyer got another reminder of that when Zoe and co. walked him across the plank to Widmore's submarine. Another dagger to the heart: the last time he boarded a submarine, he and Juliet were being deported by Dharma back to the United States to continue their happily ever after away from the Island. Nonetheless, Sawyer bravely climbed down into the lion's den. On his way to see New Sheriff In Town Charles Widmore, Sawyer walked past the fiery furnaces that powered the vessel — and stopped at a locked room. He called it out. He was told: Mind your own business. I remembered how Anthony Cooper had been brought to the Island via sub by the Others — and how John Locke had tricked Sawyer into killing him. FUN FACT! A ''locked room mystery'' is perhaps the oldest identified genre of mystery fiction. The oldest ''locked room mystery'' on record: ''Bel and the Dragon,'' an apocryphal Biblical text, in which a famous prophet debunked a false god by... sprinkling a perimeter of ash around a room. The name of this prophet? Daniel.

Sawyer met Widmore. In the process, Chuck let slip that his bespectacled associate's name was Zoe. Zoe! But where's his old Gnostic Acheron queen, Eloise Hawking? Nowhere to be found. Does Widmore regain his Others throne with Zoe as his consort? TBD. Widmore chided Sawyer for ''just how little'' he understood about what was really going on. I don't know about that. As Sawyer peered into Widmore's eyes and told him he knew that they both knew that John Locke was not Locke, I wondered if Sawyer was also trying to tell Widmore that he knew exactly who Fake Locke really was. They struck a bargain. Sawyer would bring Fake Locke to him so they could duke it out on the beach. In exchange: safety for the friends in his boat and a ride home. Widmore agreed. And now we debate: Who will Sawyer choose for his boat? It's going to be the Raft all over again! THEORY: Remember that time travel moment from season 5 that's never been explained, when Sawyer and co. were fired upon by another raft in the distance? They returned some shots, but flashed away before they could figure out who was shooting at them? Here's your answer, kids: It's going to be Sawyer's boat, paddling over Zooropa with his selected sub friends. Will there be casualties? Talk about a past coming back to haunt you...

Sawyer went back to Fake Locke. Sawyer called him out. FLocke didn't really need him to do recon on Hydra, did he? Nope. Sawyer told him about the dead bodies. FLocke tried to act shocked. That's terrible! Then came the true test: Would Sawyer spin or spill everything he knew? Answer: spill. He basically told FLocke the whole truth about what had happened between him and Widmore. FLocke seemed to be surprised when Sawyer disclosed that Widmore was over there, but I wasn't 100% sure it was genuine. Regardless, the Monster beamed with pride as Sawyer told him everything, and said, ''I appreciate your loyalty.'' Then again, maybe it was the knowing smile of two chess players that had dueled to a stalemate. FLocke wanted him out of the way for a little bit so he could work on Kate — and wanted him to see the cost of betrayal. Sawyer was transparent about what he wanted — and about his clear understanding about where all of this is heading, which is a showdown between Smokey and Widmore. And in tacitly acknowledging that understanding, Sawyer was also telling the Man In Black what he wasn't willing to do for him:
Kill his father.

Which brings us to FLocke's conversation with Kate. It took place after Claire's assault. Claire had the advantage. She was going to drive a knife into her throat. She was going to unleash all her Aaron rage on the woman who had taken him. Kate appealed to Sayid for help. Sayid sat there stupefied. Zombified. Almost zapped of will or initiative. Something was wrong with him, he said. My guess: It's the magic knife Dogen gave him to stab FLocke. It's all but neutralized Sayid's usefulness to FLocke. That utility? Killing. The title of this section, ''Infernal Affairs,'' refers to a section of hell in Buddhism reserved for people who kill their fathers, mothers, and enlightened beings. In this section of hell you don't stay forever — but you have to work to earn enough Enlightenment and Dharma to leave. One wonders if Sayid is frozen and gripped by an experience of penance; maybe his will/soul has been temporarily diverted to the Sideways world to work things out.

After peeling Claire off of Kate and slapping her into submission (an act of violence that even stunned Kate) and parking her in a time out, FLocke found Kate sitting in a refuge of banyan trees. He explained himself. He confessed he had duped Claire into believing The Others had Aaron. He explained he needed to give her anger to give her purpose, to pull her out of what was likely suicidal despair. Kate asked where Sawyer had gone. He brought her the beach and offered her a view of Hydra Island. Again, he searched for the right words to say, for whatever reason… and then told her story about his mother:

''My mother was crazy. Long time ago before I looked like this, I had a mother just like everyone. She was a very disturbed woman. And as a result of that, I had some growing pains. Problems that I'm still trying to work my way through. Problems that could have been avoided if things had been different.''

Kate wanted to know: Why was FLocke telling her this?

. ''Because Aaron has a crazy mother, too.''

We were left to wonder what exactly Kate was supposed to make of that story, and what she actually took away from it. To me, it sounded like FLocke was trying to convince Kate that Claire was an unfit mother. To me, it sounded like he wanted Kate to move off the dream of reuniting Clair and Aaron. To me, it sounded like he wanted Kate to think about saving Aaron from Claire lest he become a scary super-monster like FLocke. To me, it sounded like FLocke was… setting Kate up to murder Claire.

Time will tell what really happened in that moment. If I'm right, though, let's hope that she resists the manipulation, just like Sawyer resisted Fake Locke bid to Brig him. By ''Brig,'' I mean ''The Brig,'' the season 3 episode where con man Sawyer was conned by John Locke to follow him to another iconic Island prison locale, the Black Rock, and do what he couldn't do himself: murder his father, Anthony Cooper, the con man that Sawyer had vowed to kill. This was the real re-con of ''Recon'' — Fake Locke's bid to get Sawyer to commit patricide one more time by killing Charles Widmore. Which is all to say, meet the Man Behind The (Smokey) Mask:

Daniel Faraday.

Not the Daniel Faraday who was shot and killed by his crazy mother in 1977. And not the fetal Daniel Faraday who was growing inside his pregnant mother when she shot and killed adult Daniel Faraday back in 1977. I’m saying: It’s a freaky fusion of both, a disembodied mutant hybrid soul, essentially left behind on the Island as a consequence of the Jughead time reboot that also rebooted pregnant Eloise Hawking. It’s possible that this entity may have been grafted onto an eternal supernatural being that has lived on the Island performing some great spiritual function that it has now tired of. Or it could just be a feral supernatural force that’s been left to develop and grow haphazardly on its own, possessed by the dream of one day becoming a real human being again. Either way, Smokey Faraday is all kinds of wrong — and I think that’s why his father, Charles Widmore, has come to the Island. To take responsibility for his own Abominable Faux Son, and put it/him out of its/his misery. What does Charles have locked up in his submarine? A secret weapon. A weapon more powerful than the dream of vengeance that possessed Sawyer and Claire for so long: It’s the toxic brew of guilt and love, damnation and redemption. Her name was Theresa Spencer. She’s the woman that Daniel Faraday once loved, but whose mind he broke as a result of his time travel experiments that his psycho mom spurred him toward, a woman that Charles Widmore kept alive on his own dime for years, just so he could use her for this very moment.

I’m thinking Sawyer called it: Son of a bitch.

But I could be wrong.

Bye.

Follow Jeff on Twitter @EWdocjensen

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