SAWYER When last we left Lost, our man was locking eyes with Jack, Kate, and Hurley on the Island, circa 1977
By Jeff Jensen THE RADZINSKY RIDDLE
The intermission is over. Lost's fifth season resumes. Where were we? Jack, Kate, and Hurley were back on the Island, circa 1977, locking eyes with bespectacled, now respectable Dharma stud Sawyer, a.k.a. James LaFleur. Over on Hydra Island (maybe in the same year, but probably not), Locke was alive, but Ben was unconscious. MIA: Sayid, Sun, and Lapidus. In tonight's episode, ''Namaste,'' you'll see all of the aforementioned — except one. You will also become formally introduced to a figure of great interest to those of us fixated with Dharma Initiative mythology. Remember the season 2 finale, when we learned about Desmond's button-pushing days in the Hatch? He had a partner, Kelvin Inman, who spent his extracurricular time finishing the Map on the blast door — a project that started with Kelvin's old hatchmate, Radzinsky. According to Kelvin, Radzinsky committed suicide. Left a bloody stain on the ceiling, in fact. But in ''Namaste,'' you'll see Radzinsky alive and well in the Dharma '70s. You'll also see Radzinsky building...something that adds provocative shading to his map-making project in The Swan. I'll explain more tomorrow in my TV Watch recap.
And for those of you struggling to recall what happened two weeks ago, here's a fun, tidy recap of ''LaFleur'' that I found on YouTube, cobbled together by an industrious fan:
MEANWHILE, SOMEONE YOU WON'T SEE...
HORACE'S OTHER ''SIGNIFICANT OTHER''
Reader Brandon Haverland wrote me last week to say: ''In your recap of 'LaFleur,' you wondered about Olivia, Horace's 'original significant other. After re-watching 'The Man Behind The Curtain,' which contains the only appearance of Olivia, I find myself wondering why we all readily accepted Olivia as Horace's 'significant other.' Could she not be Horace's sister?''
Excellent point, Brandon. And more, I bet your theory is totally correct: As I reported the day after ''LaFleur'' aired, the actress who played Olivia, Samantha Mathis (Pump Up The Volume, Harsh Realm), chose not to be part of the new season of Lost and isn't expected to appear on Lost ever again. So whether by design or by circumstance, my guess is that Horace and Olivia will indeed be revealed as siblings — if Lost ever decides to mention Olivia again at all.
IS IT JUST ME...
...Or do you suspect that the Dharma/Others ''war'' is something of a scam — a choreographed piece of theater, jointly managed by the respective leaders of both sides, designed to achieve a mutually desirable end? Yes, we heard Richard Alpert and Horace Goodspeed bicker about the violation of ''the truce'' out there on the Dharma playground — but there was a whole portion of their conversation that we weren't allowed to hear. What were they talking about, anyway? Maybe something like:
RICHARD: Dude! Killing my men wasn't part of the deal.
HORACE: Well, neither was killing Amy.
RICHARD: My guys were NEVER going to kill Amy. It would have looked like they were deliberately targeting Paul (which we were) if they didn't at least try to kill Amy, so I told my guys to go through the motions — put a bag over her head, cock the guns... and then, suddenly ''hear something in the bushes'' and run away.
HORACE: I don't believe you.
RICHARD: Don't believe ME?! Why should I believe YOU? You're the manipulative evil mastermind here! You were the one who came up with the old ''King David'' idea of killing Paul just so you can get your mitts on Amy...
HORACE: Shhh! Keep your voice down!
IS IT JUST ME... (cont.)
RICHARD: Look, we both know we have to keep up the pretense of this war for the sake of what needs to happen on this island. But if you and I can't totally control every beat of this drama, we're totally screwed!
HORACE: I know! I know!
RICHARD: So how do we make this right?
HORACE: I'm thinking! In the meantime, pretend like you're heatedly arguing with me.
RICHARD: Okay. But while I do, I'm going to talk about Doc Jensen's new theory about what the Dharma acronym really stands for. Okay?
HORACE: Sounds fun. Go for it.
RICHARD: Okay, check this out. Doc thinks Dharma stands for ''Deconstructing Heroism and Reinventing Mythic Archetypes.'' He suspects that Dharma is trying to stage ''living propaganda'' for the Island to broadcast via its mystical electromagnetic frequencies into our Jungian collective subconscious — a new myth, if you will, that will reverse the spiritually corrosive consequences of post-modernism and inspire in people a sense of heroism and compel them to throw off the materialistic values of our culture and adopt a new sense of responsibility for each other and the planet. However, he thinks the problem with Dharma's mad master plan is that the test subjects keep failing. Instead of acting like heroes and revolting against the mind games you guys are concocting in your hatches (which they should be doing, thus activating the drama of this ''living propaganda''), they just sit on their asses and watch their monitors and push their buttons and generally continue acting like the cynical, self-involved, mass-consuming cowards that most people are these days. After all, is this not the '''Me Decade''?
HORACE: Wow. I didn't understand word of that. And I'm a genius!
RICHARD: I know. This Doc Jensen guy sounds like a stuffy, moralistic, pedantic jerk!
HORACE: Nah, he's all right. Have you ever read his ''The Others are animal/human hybrids theory'' from season 3?
RICHARD: OH MY GOD. How did he figure that out? Jacob will be so pissed. Maybe we should ''Purge'' him, too...
HORACE: ''Purge''? What's this ''Purge'' you speak of?
RICHARD: Nothing! Never mind! Hey, did you guys get a new swing set? Looks neat! Can I give it a try?
Okay, clearly I shouldn't be in the Lost dialogue-writing business. Moreover, if the general nature of my theory is correct, I suspect Richard and Horace are unwitting pawns — the real evil genius collaborators here are their respective bosses. (Widmore and Pierre Chang? Jacob and Chang?) Am I being silly — or am I onto something? E-mail me at JeffJensenEW@aol.com
SOMETHING I MISSED!
RICHARD AND THE SONIC FENCE-PROOF OTHERS
As many of you are painfully aware, I have a tendency to get so caught up in my own obscure interests and arcane theories (see: the previous bit) that I tend to neglect or forget about the genuinely interesting bits of Lost staring all of us right in the face. And so it goes that many of you on the message boards busted on me for not even mentioning that provocative disclosure by Richard Alpert that he and his Others can't be stopped by Dharma's sonic fence. To atone for my mistake, here's reader Billy Wadsack's take on the situation: ''Richard Alpert told Horace that the sonic fence doesn't keep 'us out' — meaning him and his people. After a few seconds of letting that compute, I realized that Richard is a ghost. And by ghost, I'm talking about a Christian Shepherd kind of ghost. I think that's why Richard doesn't age. Being a ghost would also explain how Richard got off the island to visit Locke as a child without the use of the Dharma submarine — just like Christian appeared to Jack and Michael when neither was on the Island.''
I like Billy's theory. Then again, maybe Richard and his Others can transform into hedgehogs and burrow underneath the fence. (See: The ''Sonic The Hedgehog'' Theory of Lost.) But right or wrong, Richard's revelation puts an interesting spin on the Others' war with Dharma, and specifically, the Purge. If the Others could easily penetrate Dharmaville's defenses any time they pleased, that means they could have staged an event like the Purge pretty much at any time. Which suggests that there must have been a defining moment that convinced the Others to do what they always had the means of doing: Exterminate Dharma. So: What was that turning point? Also: Remember the Season 3 episode ''Left Behind,'' when Juliet and Kate eluded Smokey by activating the sonic fence? If Richard is telling the truth about his sonic fence immunity, then that means the Others can do something Smokey can't do. Unless, of course, Richard isn't telling the truth about his sonic fence immunity, and that the real reason he got past it is because the Others have a mole inside the Dharma operation who turned it off. Hey: Where is Daniel Faraday these days, anyway?
So many questions. And here's another one!
DID SAWYER CHANGE THE PAST BY SAVING AMY'S LIFE?
This is, perhaps, THE burning question to come out of ''LaFleur.'' Many of you believe that answer is yes, that Amy and her unborn child were supposed to die with husband Paul, and that now the Island's history is being rewritten, and events like the Purge may never happen. Writes reader Saul Goldbaum: ''I think when Sawyer and Juliet saved Amy from being killed, they changed history and started a time loop that prevents new babies from being born. I'm guessing that the baby that was born shouldn't have been born, and now 'fate' is preventing other babies from being born until the problem of Amy's baby is fixed.''
However, many of you believe the answer is no, that Sawyer and company aren't changing anything, but rather acting out their predestined parts — meaning that events like the Purge occurred because of the presence of the time traveling castaways in the Dharma past. (See: Faraday's ''whatever happened, happened'' theory.) In fact, there was that moment when one of those Others who was about to execute Amy seemed to get the draw on Sawyer and fired at him — but the bullet miraculously seemed to miss. Did Fate make the bullet miss Sawyer because pre-determined history required Sawyer's survival? So, who is correct: History Changers or History Non-Changers? I can tell you this: Tonight, Amy will reveal a piece of information that just might definitively settle the matter.
THE PROBLEM WITH MOTHERS!
In my ''LaFleur'' recap, I asked for your take on Sawyer's contention that the event that caused the Island's anti-baby policy had not yet happened. Part two of my survey of your theories includes this analysis from Joshua Cortina, my pick for READER THEORY OF THE WEEK, which I think nicely complements the view that, ironically, it's the time-traveling castaways who are responsible for much of the Island mythology that defined their post-crash drama. Joshua writes: ''In trying to stop the pregnancy problem before it starts, Juliet will be revealed as the cause of the pregnancy problem. I think that now that Juliet has 'come out' as being a fertility doctor, she will start working as a doctor on the Island. The problem that causes pregnant women to die hasn't happened yet, but she's determined to make sure it doesn't. Yet in trying to prevent that problem from ever occurring, she will end up being the cause of the problem. I think this may be why she was brought to the Island in the first place.''
In other words: Ben, Richard, and the Others have been shepherding the lives of Juliet, the castaways, and many others for a very long time in order to maintain a crazy time loop that props up reality as we know it. To that end, the Others brought Juliet to the Island in the present, because she was destined to go back to the past and create the Island's baby-making problem. If this theory is correct, then the question is: What is ''the right thing to do'' — sustain the time loop so history can be preserved, or collapse the time loop so history can be rebooted? Call it the ''Allegory About Our Economy Theory of Lost.'' Should we keep passing the stimulus packages and bailing out these imploding monolithic companies in hopes of preventing widespread economic catastrophe — or should we just let everything fail so we can rebuild a better and stronger economy, even if it means that everyone suffers horribly for who knows how long? See? Who says smoke monsters and four-toed statues have nothing to do with real life?
There are other theories, of course. Like this one from Christos Rousseas: ''My theory regarding why Amy's baby was successfully born is that the baby was born before Ben became the leader of the Others. I think that the Island starts to reflect the main emotional trauma of the leader of the Island. While Widmore was in charge of the Island, there were no problems with children being born. When Ben took over, the problem began. Why? Because Ben lost his mother during childbirth. Hence, that trauma started to manifest on the Island.'' Rousseas further speculates that when Ben left the Island, Locke became its chief custodian, and the Island subsequently began to mirror Locke's defining trauma: his father issues. Is that why the Island became dislodged from space and time? Because of Locke's abandonment angst?
Yep: Kinda heavy. So let's end on crazy: The new episode of Totally Lost, hosted by Dan Snierson and yours truly. Today, Dan and I take a cue from ''LaFleur'' and decide to throw our own Dharma-style ''hootenanny'' in the EW Security Center, complete with ''brownies,'' Geronimo Jackson, and general unauthorized tomfoolery. Naturally, disaster ensues. In addition to questionable comedy, you'll get some conversation about ''LaFleur'' and some additional teasers about ''Namaste.'' It all culminates with an event of such game-changing significance that...well, why spoil it when you can watch it RIGHT NOW? (Or later today when we finish and post it.) Let us know what you think — and come back tomorrow for my Thursday morning quarterbacking of ''Namaste.''
Toodles!
Doc Jensen
By Jeff Jensen THE RADZINSKY RIDDLE
The intermission is over. Lost's fifth season resumes. Where were we? Jack, Kate, and Hurley were back on the Island, circa 1977, locking eyes with bespectacled, now respectable Dharma stud Sawyer, a.k.a. James LaFleur. Over on Hydra Island (maybe in the same year, but probably not), Locke was alive, but Ben was unconscious. MIA: Sayid, Sun, and Lapidus. In tonight's episode, ''Namaste,'' you'll see all of the aforementioned — except one. You will also become formally introduced to a figure of great interest to those of us fixated with Dharma Initiative mythology. Remember the season 2 finale, when we learned about Desmond's button-pushing days in the Hatch? He had a partner, Kelvin Inman, who spent his extracurricular time finishing the Map on the blast door — a project that started with Kelvin's old hatchmate, Radzinsky. According to Kelvin, Radzinsky committed suicide. Left a bloody stain on the ceiling, in fact. But in ''Namaste,'' you'll see Radzinsky alive and well in the Dharma '70s. You'll also see Radzinsky building...something that adds provocative shading to his map-making project in The Swan. I'll explain more tomorrow in my TV Watch recap.
And for those of you struggling to recall what happened two weeks ago, here's a fun, tidy recap of ''LaFleur'' that I found on YouTube, cobbled together by an industrious fan:
MEANWHILE, SOMEONE YOU WON'T SEE...
HORACE'S OTHER ''SIGNIFICANT OTHER''
Reader Brandon Haverland wrote me last week to say: ''In your recap of 'LaFleur,' you wondered about Olivia, Horace's 'original significant other. After re-watching 'The Man Behind The Curtain,' which contains the only appearance of Olivia, I find myself wondering why we all readily accepted Olivia as Horace's 'significant other.' Could she not be Horace's sister?''
Excellent point, Brandon. And more, I bet your theory is totally correct: As I reported the day after ''LaFleur'' aired, the actress who played Olivia, Samantha Mathis (Pump Up The Volume, Harsh Realm), chose not to be part of the new season of Lost and isn't expected to appear on Lost ever again. So whether by design or by circumstance, my guess is that Horace and Olivia will indeed be revealed as siblings — if Lost ever decides to mention Olivia again at all.
IS IT JUST ME...
...Or do you suspect that the Dharma/Others ''war'' is something of a scam — a choreographed piece of theater, jointly managed by the respective leaders of both sides, designed to achieve a mutually desirable end? Yes, we heard Richard Alpert and Horace Goodspeed bicker about the violation of ''the truce'' out there on the Dharma playground — but there was a whole portion of their conversation that we weren't allowed to hear. What were they talking about, anyway? Maybe something like:
RICHARD: Dude! Killing my men wasn't part of the deal.
HORACE: Well, neither was killing Amy.
RICHARD: My guys were NEVER going to kill Amy. It would have looked like they were deliberately targeting Paul (which we were) if they didn't at least try to kill Amy, so I told my guys to go through the motions — put a bag over her head, cock the guns... and then, suddenly ''hear something in the bushes'' and run away.
HORACE: I don't believe you.
RICHARD: Don't believe ME?! Why should I believe YOU? You're the manipulative evil mastermind here! You were the one who came up with the old ''King David'' idea of killing Paul just so you can get your mitts on Amy...
HORACE: Shhh! Keep your voice down!
IS IT JUST ME... (cont.)
RICHARD: Look, we both know we have to keep up the pretense of this war for the sake of what needs to happen on this island. But if you and I can't totally control every beat of this drama, we're totally screwed!
HORACE: I know! I know!
RICHARD: So how do we make this right?
HORACE: I'm thinking! In the meantime, pretend like you're heatedly arguing with me.
RICHARD: Okay. But while I do, I'm going to talk about Doc Jensen's new theory about what the Dharma acronym really stands for. Okay?
HORACE: Sounds fun. Go for it.
RICHARD: Okay, check this out. Doc thinks Dharma stands for ''Deconstructing Heroism and Reinventing Mythic Archetypes.'' He suspects that Dharma is trying to stage ''living propaganda'' for the Island to broadcast via its mystical electromagnetic frequencies into our Jungian collective subconscious — a new myth, if you will, that will reverse the spiritually corrosive consequences of post-modernism and inspire in people a sense of heroism and compel them to throw off the materialistic values of our culture and adopt a new sense of responsibility for each other and the planet. However, he thinks the problem with Dharma's mad master plan is that the test subjects keep failing. Instead of acting like heroes and revolting against the mind games you guys are concocting in your hatches (which they should be doing, thus activating the drama of this ''living propaganda''), they just sit on their asses and watch their monitors and push their buttons and generally continue acting like the cynical, self-involved, mass-consuming cowards that most people are these days. After all, is this not the '''Me Decade''?
HORACE: Wow. I didn't understand word of that. And I'm a genius!
RICHARD: I know. This Doc Jensen guy sounds like a stuffy, moralistic, pedantic jerk!
HORACE: Nah, he's all right. Have you ever read his ''The Others are animal/human hybrids theory'' from season 3?
RICHARD: OH MY GOD. How did he figure that out? Jacob will be so pissed. Maybe we should ''Purge'' him, too...
HORACE: ''Purge''? What's this ''Purge'' you speak of?
RICHARD: Nothing! Never mind! Hey, did you guys get a new swing set? Looks neat! Can I give it a try?
Okay, clearly I shouldn't be in the Lost dialogue-writing business. Moreover, if the general nature of my theory is correct, I suspect Richard and Horace are unwitting pawns — the real evil genius collaborators here are their respective bosses. (Widmore and Pierre Chang? Jacob and Chang?) Am I being silly — or am I onto something? E-mail me at JeffJensenEW@aol.com
SOMETHING I MISSED!
RICHARD AND THE SONIC FENCE-PROOF OTHERS
As many of you are painfully aware, I have a tendency to get so caught up in my own obscure interests and arcane theories (see: the previous bit) that I tend to neglect or forget about the genuinely interesting bits of Lost staring all of us right in the face. And so it goes that many of you on the message boards busted on me for not even mentioning that provocative disclosure by Richard Alpert that he and his Others can't be stopped by Dharma's sonic fence. To atone for my mistake, here's reader Billy Wadsack's take on the situation: ''Richard Alpert told Horace that the sonic fence doesn't keep 'us out' — meaning him and his people. After a few seconds of letting that compute, I realized that Richard is a ghost. And by ghost, I'm talking about a Christian Shepherd kind of ghost. I think that's why Richard doesn't age. Being a ghost would also explain how Richard got off the island to visit Locke as a child without the use of the Dharma submarine — just like Christian appeared to Jack and Michael when neither was on the Island.''
I like Billy's theory. Then again, maybe Richard and his Others can transform into hedgehogs and burrow underneath the fence. (See: The ''Sonic The Hedgehog'' Theory of Lost.) But right or wrong, Richard's revelation puts an interesting spin on the Others' war with Dharma, and specifically, the Purge. If the Others could easily penetrate Dharmaville's defenses any time they pleased, that means they could have staged an event like the Purge pretty much at any time. Which suggests that there must have been a defining moment that convinced the Others to do what they always had the means of doing: Exterminate Dharma. So: What was that turning point? Also: Remember the Season 3 episode ''Left Behind,'' when Juliet and Kate eluded Smokey by activating the sonic fence? If Richard is telling the truth about his sonic fence immunity, then that means the Others can do something Smokey can't do. Unless, of course, Richard isn't telling the truth about his sonic fence immunity, and that the real reason he got past it is because the Others have a mole inside the Dharma operation who turned it off. Hey: Where is Daniel Faraday these days, anyway?
So many questions. And here's another one!
DID SAWYER CHANGE THE PAST BY SAVING AMY'S LIFE?
This is, perhaps, THE burning question to come out of ''LaFleur.'' Many of you believe that answer is yes, that Amy and her unborn child were supposed to die with husband Paul, and that now the Island's history is being rewritten, and events like the Purge may never happen. Writes reader Saul Goldbaum: ''I think when Sawyer and Juliet saved Amy from being killed, they changed history and started a time loop that prevents new babies from being born. I'm guessing that the baby that was born shouldn't have been born, and now 'fate' is preventing other babies from being born until the problem of Amy's baby is fixed.''
However, many of you believe the answer is no, that Sawyer and company aren't changing anything, but rather acting out their predestined parts — meaning that events like the Purge occurred because of the presence of the time traveling castaways in the Dharma past. (See: Faraday's ''whatever happened, happened'' theory.) In fact, there was that moment when one of those Others who was about to execute Amy seemed to get the draw on Sawyer and fired at him — but the bullet miraculously seemed to miss. Did Fate make the bullet miss Sawyer because pre-determined history required Sawyer's survival? So, who is correct: History Changers or History Non-Changers? I can tell you this: Tonight, Amy will reveal a piece of information that just might definitively settle the matter.
THE PROBLEM WITH MOTHERS!
In my ''LaFleur'' recap, I asked for your take on Sawyer's contention that the event that caused the Island's anti-baby policy had not yet happened. Part two of my survey of your theories includes this analysis from Joshua Cortina, my pick for READER THEORY OF THE WEEK, which I think nicely complements the view that, ironically, it's the time-traveling castaways who are responsible for much of the Island mythology that defined their post-crash drama. Joshua writes: ''In trying to stop the pregnancy problem before it starts, Juliet will be revealed as the cause of the pregnancy problem. I think that now that Juliet has 'come out' as being a fertility doctor, she will start working as a doctor on the Island. The problem that causes pregnant women to die hasn't happened yet, but she's determined to make sure it doesn't. Yet in trying to prevent that problem from ever occurring, she will end up being the cause of the problem. I think this may be why she was brought to the Island in the first place.''
In other words: Ben, Richard, and the Others have been shepherding the lives of Juliet, the castaways, and many others for a very long time in order to maintain a crazy time loop that props up reality as we know it. To that end, the Others brought Juliet to the Island in the present, because she was destined to go back to the past and create the Island's baby-making problem. If this theory is correct, then the question is: What is ''the right thing to do'' — sustain the time loop so history can be preserved, or collapse the time loop so history can be rebooted? Call it the ''Allegory About Our Economy Theory of Lost.'' Should we keep passing the stimulus packages and bailing out these imploding monolithic companies in hopes of preventing widespread economic catastrophe — or should we just let everything fail so we can rebuild a better and stronger economy, even if it means that everyone suffers horribly for who knows how long? See? Who says smoke monsters and four-toed statues have nothing to do with real life?
There are other theories, of course. Like this one from Christos Rousseas: ''My theory regarding why Amy's baby was successfully born is that the baby was born before Ben became the leader of the Others. I think that the Island starts to reflect the main emotional trauma of the leader of the Island. While Widmore was in charge of the Island, there were no problems with children being born. When Ben took over, the problem began. Why? Because Ben lost his mother during childbirth. Hence, that trauma started to manifest on the Island.'' Rousseas further speculates that when Ben left the Island, Locke became its chief custodian, and the Island subsequently began to mirror Locke's defining trauma: his father issues. Is that why the Island became dislodged from space and time? Because of Locke's abandonment angst?
Yep: Kinda heavy. So let's end on crazy: The new episode of Totally Lost, hosted by Dan Snierson and yours truly. Today, Dan and I take a cue from ''LaFleur'' and decide to throw our own Dharma-style ''hootenanny'' in the EW Security Center, complete with ''brownies,'' Geronimo Jackson, and general unauthorized tomfoolery. Naturally, disaster ensues. In addition to questionable comedy, you'll get some conversation about ''LaFleur'' and some additional teasers about ''Namaste.'' It all culminates with an event of such game-changing significance that...well, why spoil it when you can watch it RIGHT NOW? (Or later today when we finish and post it.) Let us know what you think — and come back tomorrow for my Thursday morning quarterbacking of ''Namaste.''
Toodles!
Doc Jensen
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