The Gashleycrumb Losties

A is for Aaron, asleep in a bed,
a bay-bee whose mum's boyfriend called turniphead.

And A's Ana-Lucia, a bad cop, not a winner,
gave her handgun to Michael who popped a cap in her.

And A's sarcastic Arzt and I won't try to con ya,
he blowed up real good, dude, there's some of him on ya.

And A is for young Alexandra, killed and gone,
because her dad used her life as if she were a pawn.

B's for Benjamin Linus, a quite awesome baddy,
whose crimes just begin with nerve-gassing his daddy.

And B's for Boone who survived Oceanic,
but died from a smaller plane crash, how ironic.

C's for Cindy the stewardess, taken by The Others,
watches over The Children as if she were their mother.

D is for Driveshaft, a Brit one hit wonder
that broke up when one of the band moved down under.

And D's Desmond, a Scot, soldier, monk, and a seer
brotha's unstuck in time, now he's then, now he's here.

E's for Mr. Eko who stood silent, strong, tall,
until Smokey smacked him around like a ragdoll.

F's for Tom Friendly, fake-bearded pretender,
who was killed on the beach as he tried to surrender.

F's for pilot Frank Lapidus, a man with a history,
a darn good chopper pilot, a drunk and a mystery.

and F is for Faraday, a physicist twitchy,
with a crush on Charlotte, archeologist witchy.

G's Greta with Bonnie in Looking Glass Station,
'til Mikhail, obeying Ben, performed their elimination.

H is Hurley Reyes, a big helpful man,
played cursed numbers, got rich, drives an old Dharma van.

J's Sayid Jirrah, who knew how to torture,
but that's in his past, he just kills in the future.

K's bilingual Kwons, there's unfaithful wife Sun,
forgiving fisherman Jin and their daughter Ji Yeon.

And K's for Kate Austen who manipulates men,
and winds up with Aaron, we don't know how or when.

And K's Karl, Alex's friend from room 23,
his water bottle sprung a leak, and then so did he.

L's for John Locke, unable to commit patricide,
who conned James Ford into performing the homocide.

L's also for Libby, of whom we know nut-
tin'; she kinda liked Hurley, got shot in the gut.

M is Michael, some really bad things were his fault,
but you have to admit that he loved his son Wa-a-alt!

and M's Miles Straume who's a would be ghostbuster,
with psychic abilities and a noisemaking dustbuster.

N's for Nikki and Paulo who were there all along,
and died in a way that was horribly wrong.

P's Charlie Pace, Desmond forsaw his doom,
ex-junkie turned hero who drowned in a room.

P's for Pilot Seth Norris, whose cameo brief
ended with him dangling up in a tree like a leaf.

R's for cured Rose who had faith that her husband
Bernard was somehow alive and somewhere on the Island.

And R's Danielle Rouseau, crazed French fighter, not lover,
who was shot, died, and was buried beneath shallow cover.

S is for Sawyer, who was shot by an Other,
he got better, caught and executed the mother-.

S's also for Shannon, man that b**** was hot,
did that Iraqi guy (and her brother!) and then she got shot.

S's Dr. Jack Shephard, who'd rather be drinking,
but they made him their leader - man, what were they thinking?